A Thank You Letter to My Ex
It’s been ten years (to the day) since the trans-Atlantic call that ended my three-and-a-half year relationship, and seemingly,…my life. I know it may seem strange to, not only remember the exact day, but to celebrate it a decade later. Still, read on…Like everything, there is a reason for it and maybe it will inspire you to write a thank you letter to your own ex? Who knows?
I can’t believe it’s been ten years since I was, well, unceremoniously dumped by you. I know it may seem a tad unusual to celebrate a decade of being separated, but the date marks both the worst day of my life – and the best – a year later.
You see, it was nearly a year, to the day, after we split that this website – soyouvebeendumped.com was born. That makes it an anniversary worth celebrating,…but it’s also got me thinking about all that’s transpired in this decade, and how your presence and subsequent exit has affected the course of my life.
Though I’ve experienced many types of love over these past ten years, there has never been anyone quite like you. Sure all of them have been wonderful (and no doubt important to me in some way), but you were the only man I was ever really, truly in love with.
I’ve loved all of them, on some level, but ours was the love that, for me at least, merged the love of a friend, romantic love and a deeply spiritual partner too.
The Best in Each Other
For almost our entire time together, I believe that we brought out the absolute best in each other, and we always treated each other with love and respect.
I can’t even recall more than three fights in as many years.
There are so many fond memories in my memory banks. I especially enjoy thinking back to the nights in bed when we’d play the “gratitude game” – taking turns to list what were grateful for that day.
More often than not, my first response was having you in my life.
I honestly felt so blessed.
I can recall just how heartbroken I was before we got together, and how the arrival of you in my life was like having my own personal angel. You showed me how to love and make love. You showed me what a happy, healthy, respectful relationship looked like.
For that, I will always be grateful. There are many things to be grateful for as a result of being with you.
So many Thank Yous to Give
Thank you for being my lover, my best friend and confidante for the years we were together.
Thank you for never smoking, doing drugs, getting stupidly drunk or being a total jerk.
Thanks for changing the loo role, cooking for me, cleaning the flat and taking the garbage out.
Thank you for the massages – especially the foot ones – which may be what I miss most about you…
Thank you for all those times you chatted to my friends when they rang, and I wasn’t in,..
And thanks for being the type of guy that mixed so well and happily with my friends and family.
Thank you for all those times you made me feel special, treasured and beautiful – especially on days when I just couldn’t see it.
Finally thank you for being supportive and also supporting me – in so may ways.
In saying all of this, I realise our relationship was far from perfect, and that my view of it may be vastly different than yours – but that’s OK.
As I always say “Perspective is a mirror not a fact”.
One of the many things I’ve learned from nine years running So You’ve Been Dumped – is that one person may deem another a ‘soul mate’ (or something similar) – it doesn’t always mean the other one reciprocates the sentiment…unfortunately.
They say “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” and I firmly believe that, so of course, there is no way I could regret a moment that I spent with you. Truly if not for you, I would probably not be the woman I am today…
I had no say in the how and when you ended the relationship, but I had total say in what I chose to do with the rather painful experience. And now, so many years later, I fully appreciate your coming into my life and exiting it right on schedule. I believe it all unfolded divinely – even thought it sure didn’t feel like it at the time. At the time, I felt like my life was over, but really only that chapter was, and it was up to me to carve out a new life – which I believe I’ve done.
You Changed My Life
Yes, your departure sent me down a path I would never have taken or could ever envisage. You leaving me, in many ways, has ended up being the making of me. I’d definitely not have launched this website which allows me to connect with men and women of all ages – and all over the world – or embarked on making a film about it.
It’s meant that both my site and myself have been featured all over the globe from ‘Sydney Morning Herald’ to the ‘Wall Street Journal’ and ‘USA Today’ to the UK’s ‘Cosmopolitan Magazine’ – and zillions of media mentions in between!
Personal Mile Stones
On a more personal level – the decade has also seen me buy my own home and a car, and travel to the Czech Republic, France and to Italy – and drive across America too. Yes, I’ve been on a long voyage of self-discovery and, honestly, I like who I’ve become.
If anyone had asked me ten years ago whether I would have ever forgiven you for walking out on me and straight to her, I most-certainly would have said “no way”, but time, as it’s often been said, is a great healer.
So I want to say “happy anniversary”, and thank you for loving me and for leaving me.
“Being Dumped Was One of the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me”
On this day, exactly ten years later, I can honestly say that in many ways, I feel that “being dumped was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me”.
Some might even say I’ve made a career out of it…
The very best part of all of this was that I made some of the very best friends I’ve ever had in my entire life through this site.
So, dear ex, I thank you, (and my site members thank you too) because in many ways, I couldn’t have done any of this without you.
Though despite how this all might read, I don’t believe in ‘the one‘ but what I believe you’ve done for me is provided me with a benchmark. So for me, you were just ‘the first one’, and I hold on to the belief (in the honourable words of Van Morrison) “the best is yet to come”.
ED NOTE: It may appear to some that I am not “over him” – but never from the moment he ended it, did I ever, ever, ever want him back.
This post was meant to be uplifting to the readers. It was written to show that I had learned and grown from the experience; and that I am even grateful for it. It was cathartic to write with love not hate. He may not reflect on me in the same way but that’s OK.
It’s all good, I’m still breathing…
What Would You Like to Do Now?