The other week Australia’s Reality Chick wrote a post on Red Flags of Dating and I suggested she write another post aimed at men. So this one is for the guys, but you gals should have a gander too – just to see if you’re at all “guilty” of any of these attributes…
Back on the dating beat after a long break – and need a heads up on the type of women you may encounter? Here’s our fun list, along with tips on how to handle each ‘type’. (Girls, have a read to see if you need to adjust your game-plan a tad!)
I’m not talking about the type of gals who’ll get the hammer out to fix a wonky table leg. I’m talking about those who’d like to fix YOU. Yup, sometimes women can get it into their heads that a guy is totally perfect except for one little thing (or maybe three or four little things). We can be guilty of wanting to change men – mold them, if you will – into the perfect bloke. This could involve shopping trips to zshush up your wardrobe, de-clutter sessions to rid you of your ugly bachelor furniture or raised eyebrows when you sip your fourth beer in the space of an hour.
Fix-Its usually know their control freakishness is a bad habit, and their attempts to fix you are generally well-intentioned. So if you dig her, remind her gently that unconditional love is a beautiful thing. Then go and put on your ugliest outfit and sit in your grandpa chair sipping a beer.
Let me just preface this one by saying some women, even if they’re madly in love and a one-man-girl, still flirt when the opportunity presents itself. It’s all about knowing they’re still attractive to the opposite sex, but for the most part, it’s harmless fun – she’s not looking to replace you at all. However, steer clear of The Flirt who comes with serious baggage and/or flirts because she craves constant attention. She needs to grow up – as does the damaged Flirt who does so with the sole intention of making you jealous.
These types of Flirts just spell heartbreak for guys.
The Game Player
Who hasn’t played games to get a guy’s attention? Guilty as charged. Waiting three days to call back, answering every third text, pretending you’re busy when you’re not, basically living by that silly book The Rules – you know the kind of games I’m talking about. Still, most Game Players genuinely want to find love and assume observing certain rules and dating rituals will do the trick, especially if they’ve been on the dating beat for months or even years. It’s a defence mechanism.
The way to fix a Game Player is to announce you’re onto her with a comment like, ‘You know what? I really like you, but I’m not into games. When you’re prepared to be open and honest with me, get in touch.’
She’ll get the message and stop leading you on a wild goose chase for her affections. (Well, I hope.)
Little Miss Insecurity
Dating’s hard. Relationships are harder, in a way. And when your adult dating career has involved crying into your coco-pops over a guy more times than you can count, it’s hardly surprising some women become insecure and dare I say it, a teensy bit needy. They’re always waiting for the bomb to drop because that’s how their relationships may have panned out in the past.
Sure, Little Miss Insecurity can be a pain in the butt at times, but don’t write her off. Most have lots of love to give and all they need is a little reassurance to get their confidence back. The flip side, of course, are insecure women who use dating as a way to boost their self-esteem, but don’t have any intention of getting serious with you. Avoid like the plague.
The Gold Digger
Traditional is one thing, but some women believe – wrongly, in my humble opinion – that a guy should pay for everything. They’ll go out for dinner with you, for drinks, to the movies, to a club, and not once get their purse out. It’s a grey area, though, as there are guys out there who quite like playing Sugar Daddy, so Gold Diggers will always find a willing mate. Her look-after-me-pay-for-me schtick will grate, though, if you’re the kind of guy who likes financial equality in a relationship. Chances are she probably won’t change, so once you figure out you’re dating a Gold Digger, announce you’re not a walking ATM machine. Then make like a cheetah.
Got a dating question? Ask reality chick, who’s on duty at her blog right now. No question too small or too strange, folks. www.realitychick.com.au