Today’s blog turns it over to one of my valued benefactor members. The views are his – but I do have to concur on the sentiments expressed in this guest post. If you’re in that desperate-to-get-him/her-back stage, please read on for some sage information.
If you are reading this after having been dumped, it’s almost guaranteed that you are in a state of disbelief, anguish and overwhelming emotional pain.
In your vulnerable state, getting your ex back has probably become an all-encompassing goal, and right now you feel that will do almost ANYTHING if you think there’s a chance that they will come back to you.
So you probably did what I did some months ago, and typed something like “how to get your ex back” into Google – and you found a bunch of websites offering quick-fix, sure-fire methods to get her/him back, all of which reminded you of how great it was to be in your relationship – then asked for money before they revealed their “secret”.
But the good news is that you found this page, too.
As someone who was in the exact state you’re in, not long ago, I urge you to take my advice. Before you commit to parting with any money at all for these things, please…
TAKE TIME OUT
Just stop whatever you are doing, read what follows, then reconsider. Believe me, you have absolutely nothing to lose by not doing anything at all for 24 hours, 48 hours, or even a week – and I will explain why you have nothing to lose in a minute…
I went through the same thing
Believe me, I understand your pain, and I know exactly where you are, because I was in the same state as you only a short time ago.
I would have parted with nearly ANY money at all if I thought it would have got her back. I would have taken out a bank loan, re-mortgaged my house, sold my car, sold my firstborn or my immortal soul to whichever devil might have popped up in my living room – anything.
I was, in short, temporarily mentally ill.
As it happened, I was lucky to get away with only wasting a couple of hundred dollars on these sites and eBooks, with absolutely zero success – but damaging myself in the process.
My healing really only started when I read what the kind, compassionate community at soyouvebeendumped.com had to say.
Why do you have nothing to lose?
Now, here’s the reason why you have nothing to lose: the course of action suggested by these sites and eBooks, and the course of action suggested by soyouvebeendumped.com, is exactly the same.
The great “secret” that you have to pay £££ or $$$ for, and what soyouvebeendumped.com recommends for free, is this:
Simply that – withdraw from them; reject the rejector; get out of their lives; disappear; drop off the face of the earth.
In the context of the paid sites, the idea is to make you appear unavailable, and therefore more alluring. Whereas here, we believe that ceasing contact with your ex is the most effective and swiftest way of healing from the trauma that you have just experienced.
So whether you choose to pay $39 or $55 for a downloadable eBook, or to use this free resource of loving support to help you heal, bear in mind that the first piece of advice either of us will give you is “stop contacting your ex, and don’t respond to their contact”.
One way or the other, you have nothing to lose.
You can either spend your hard-earned money on an eBook that tells you to ignore your ex, or you can just ignore them anyway, and join the forums here.
THE AWFUL TRUTH
Now for the bad news. This is a harsh truth and you will not want to believe it, but it’s very likely to be true…
Unless you’re in a very tiny minority, the breakup you have just experienced is probably the irrevocable end of the relationship.
You do not want to hear this – believe me, nor did I. It was the most painful thing I read in those first bleak days, and whenever I read anything that said it, I chose to ignore it, go back to Google again, and spend my hard-earned cash on eBooks that did no good at all.
Your ex might have said stuff to you like “can we keep in touch”, “we can be friends”, or as mine did, say “I always want you in your life”. These words may have given you hope that there was a chance of reconciliation. Your ex may have meant these things, or they may have said them in the misguided belief that they’d make you feel better – and these words may even provide you with temporary relief from the appalling pain you are in – but they are just words, and usually don’t mean a thing.
She or he has rejected you, and that action speaks louder than the words they used.
The enemies of your future healing are now: prolonged contact with your ex, and false hope. And false hope is what is being peddled by those expensive websites and eBooks.
I wish that I had just accepted this at the time. I would have started to heal so much faster, and not have put myself through two months of emotional agony.
Why am I so passionate about this?
There are three reasons I’ve written this.
Firstly, I don’t want others to make the mistake I did: paying a lot of money for advice that is, at best, similar to what you get here, and at worst, actually damaging to you.
Secondly, I don’t want others to experience the pain I went through thanks to these sites, which promote false hopes that lift you up, only to crash you down again.
Thirdly, they hardly work at all.
The lack of success of these schemes is, sadly, borne out by the very sites that are asking for your money. As a member of various “get-your-ex-back” message boards that came with the money I paid, I observed almost zero success being reported. Sure, there are a couple of success stories every month or two, but I am not sure they’re all real – and even if they are, I’d put them at way-less-than a half of one per cent of all the people participating in the message boards. Most people posting there are still in anguish, and only making things worse for themselves.
I tried to follow the conflicting advice being offered by the various sites and eBooks that I paid for. And I just kept on reopening the gaping wound in my heart. Day after day – until I ended up in a state of clinical depression.
I’m not saying that all these eBooks and sites are cynical in intent (though they are all charging for advice you can get here for free). One of the better ones I paid for promotes the same thing that soyouvebeendumped.com does – namely, heal yourself, allow yourself to live well as a single person. The difference is that they offer false hope. And why pay money for that?
I wish you every success in your decision, and in your healing. Talk to us at soyouvebeendumped.com before you pay for any advice – as I said, you have nothing to lose, and this community will offer you support and advice for free.
Good luck – it can be a long and painful process, but you’ll be OK in the end.