So, our playboy prince is off the hook. Harry's long suffering girlfriend, Chelsy, took him back last week after he repeatedly begged her for forgiveness and promised to change his partying ways. A close friend of the Zimbabwean blonde said that Chelsy always planned to take him back – she just wanted him to sweat a bit.
But be warned: throwing around ultimatums is a dangerous game, says Emma Taylor, one half of New York-based author and columnist duo Em & Lo. 'They might not agree to your terms and may think it's better to end the relationship,' says Taylor. 'It's got to be a dealbreaker that you really mean.'
Staying friends
If things don't turn out as royally for you as they have for Chelsy, then take a look at Em & Lo's latest book, Buh-Bye: The Ultimate Guide To Dumping And Getting Dumped (Chronicle, £8.99). It includes sob stories sadder than your own, helpful tips on break-up etiquette and an A-to-Z selection of terms related to a break-up, such as 'frexes' (that's exes who are friends, by the way).
Let's take the worst-case scenario – you've just been dumped. Your first course of action according to the 'how to get over a break-up in ten easy steps' section, should be to numb the pain (with a box of wine).
Then put your heartbreak into perspective (through volunteer work) and then have a rebound fling. Very few people have died from a breakup,' says Taylor. 'You will carry on living and you will fall in love again.'
Emily Dubberley, author of The Ex-Factor (Fusion Press, £10.99), outlines the five stages of grieving as identified by counselling expert Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
'It's easy to get stuck on any of the first four stages but you need to move through them all if you're going to move on,' says Dubberley. And remember – there is always someone who has been through a worse break-up than you. Taylor says: 'A good friend of mine went to a family funeral and, while she was there, her boyfriend moved all his stuff out of their flat and then left her a note on the back of a shopping list.'
Thea Newcomb, the creator of www.soyouvebeendumped.com, has heard hundreds of horror stories. 'One girl was dumped by her boyfriend of six years on a cruise,' she says. 'He planned to do it on the last night but completed the task on the first night – which also happened to be her birthday. Talk about wrong timing and location.
Roll in the hay
'Another woman arrived back in Scotland after a two-week trip to California. Her boyfriend showed up on her doorstep, they had a roll in the hay and then he sighed, shook his head and said, “I could totally fall in love with you, but I'm thinking of becoming a priest.” Then he started dating another girl and married her.'
Tim, 34, from Coventry, was crushed when his girlfriend dumped him. 'More so because I had just proposed,' he says. 'She said she wasn't ready for marriage and then took it as an opportunity to say she wasn't actually that happy. It was a long, quiet journey back from Italy.'
But not everyone is so heartless and, sometimes, those who instigate the break-up often feel heartbroken, too. 'It's natural to think a lot about the person you've just dumped,' says Taylor. 'It's also normal to miss them but, as the weeks go by, it's likely you will feel the waves of relief wash over you.'
If you are thinking of doing the deed, bear this in mind: there is no right way to do it – but there's lots of ways you shouldn't do it, adds Taylor. 'Don't break up right after sex or after particularly kinky sex. Don't do it after booking a holiday, introducing them to your parents or after incredibly intimate, faceholding sex. In the lead-up, don't do anything that will give them hope or expectations for the future.'
And certainly don't use a cheesy line, says Newcomb, adding: 'One of the worst I've heard was, “My feelings for you just plateaued.”'
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