If you wound up here because you were searching for “funny dumping lines” (and 1000s of you each month are), then you’re in for a real treat! Here are some of the breakup lines that have been sent in since 2000. The So You’ve Been Dumped Break Up Lines Book will launch as soon as possible. Check back soon for that!
[NOTE: We also post some on our FB and Google+ profiles (see link above right^). Please don't steal them for your website, your iPhone app or anything else. If you'd like permission to quote them - then please ask. Stealing is uncool. You know who you are...]
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“I have only still been seeing you because I felt obliged to, and if we were right for each other, neither of us should feel like that.”
- “I love you toooooo much, it’s driving me mad.”
- “Sorry for the long silence…I have personal issues lately…Happy Friday!“
- “I just can’t take the bad sex anymore”.
- “Honestly? It’s you not me, you’re just too perfect for some else. And I’m perfect for the girl on Facebook.”
- “You’re perfect in every way, just not for me.”
- “I get so emotional when you’re not around…That emotion is called happiness.”
- “Oh, sorry but l am going to my brother’s wedding and you not invited….”
- “It’s not you. You’re fine, lovely in fact, and much smarter than me. It’s just I want to pursue younger women.”
- “Maybe this break up will be good for you, since you’ve never really experienced pain before.”
- “I enjoy your company, fancy you like crazy, and love having sex with you, but I don’t love you and I never will.”
- “The problem with our relationship is, we’re in a relationship.”
- “Just the fact that you had to sit me down and talk about our communication problems means that were not going to work out, and we should end our relationship.”
- “I can’t believe you won’t let me go to a strip club in Vegas. This shows you really don’t care about me.”
- “Really, our time together has just become more effort than you’re worth.”
- “You care too much about celebrities.”
- “I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you’re not.”
- “I don’t want to have to go on holiday to see my girlfriend. It’s just not fun anymore.”
- “You’re not Mr. Right – just Mr. Right Now.”
- “Before you were still a mystery and now you need to be history.”
- “I’m just not feeling ‘it’ so I want a divorce.”
- “If only I were in love with just one girl, not two.”
- “I love you but I’m not in love with you so I guess I’m more of a lesbian than we thought.”
- “Hmmm, I am not sure that I want to do this anymore…”
- “You have your own life. You have a job. You can’t sleep with me in my bed every night. I really don’t even like her but she lets me drink.”
- “I want to have fun and I’m not ready to carry a burden through my youth.”
- “You have an irrational (emotional) intensive feeling for me which frightens me.”
- “I just can’t come up tonight. This whole thing is just making me ill.”
- “I have these spirit guides and as I drove home today they were telling me very strongly that we live too far apart and it’s never going to work.”
- “Ideally, I would like to write my book, and once I finish I’ll give you an answer as to whether we will be together or not.”
- “You don’t engage me anymore”.
- “I bought my baby’s mama an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day. Since this is the last time we’ll be together, I hope you want to get real freaky.”
- “I need to see other women to prove to myself that my love for you is genuine.”
- “She said that she was better for me than you, so I had no choice but to defend our love and prove her wrong…You should be thanking me for this.”
- “I’ll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow.”
- “I just don’t think we’re ‘suitable’ suitable”.
- “I need to tell you that someone from my past has come back into my life. I knew her years ago but there were so many things that interfered with her and I having a relationship that could not be overcome, but that has passed and now she and I are making another attempt.”
- “You’re Muslim, and I’m Hindu, this is never going to work, I’m sorry.”
- “I’m making a changes in my life that don’t include you. I’m sorry. I love you but I’m going through a quarter life crisis right now. You know I’m not going to live much longer because all prodigies die young.”
- “Isn’t six and a half years long enough?”
- “You know how Fromm talks about love being an active process? Well, I’m afraid love didn’t even grow. I’m looking for a Soulmate and you’re not her.”
- “It just fizzled out, I am sorry. We are still buds, just not like before, I can’t do it.”
- “Please understand that I care for you deeply, but need to finalize my thoughts with her good or bad – for my sake. But I would still like to take you to lunch and call you if that is OK with you. I just can’t see you right now.”
- “I was asked to make a choice. If I had not been asked, I may have chosen differently”.
- “I am having a disruption in my professional life (leaving job), so I thought that I may as well have a disruption in my personal life.”
- “My ‘friend’ has asked me to move in with her and I’ve agreed, is it alright if I move out on Saturday?”
- “My dick is committed to you, but my heart is not.”
- “You are the only really good girl I’ve ever met, I will probably never meet anyone like you again. You are really marriage material. If we stay together, we will get married in a few years, BUT I’m not sure I am ready to commit to one person.”
- “I just can’t handle the distance…I’m so sorry.”
- “This isn’t easy and neither are you…I’m breaking up with you.”
- “I just don’t know how much longer I can do this charade that I am happy with the relationship as it is.”
- “Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab.”
- “I’d like to think that I just need some time, because I really miss you, but really I never loved you and I miss everyone else”.
- “I love you. I love hanging out with you. You are so easy to live with. I want everything to remain the same except the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.”
- “You’re an investment with no return.”
- “I know that if I continue seeing you that you that I will want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I’m not ready for that, so I don’t want to see you anymore.”
- “Yes, I thought we were getting to the point in our relationship where I might start to fall in love with you, but your insecurities about how I feel about you have made it clear that I can never fall in love with you.”
- “You’re a great guy, but I have so much baggage, and right now I have more bad days than good days…it wouldn’t be fair to subject you to that.”
- “I still care about you, but I just don’t find my heart jumping out of my chest when I see you anymore.”
- “I have lost all romantic feelings for you completely, and I desire no future relationship with you.”
- “She’s exactly like you used to be – before you became a bitch.”
- “I think you love me more than I love you.”
- “Bad news, I met someone last night, and as I neither want to cheat on you nor bull**** you, we should keep seeing us as ‘friends’ only,…if it is OK for you?”
- “I’m looking for a long-term relationship and I just can’t pursue that with you.”
- “I think we both rushed into this relationship so fast but forgot to get to know each other. We should have taken our time. You can’t fall in love in two months but we were so keen to try.”
- “We both have some of the qualities we want, but not all of them. I want nothing or easier.”
- “I really feel that we have major differences…I like playing the accordion, and growing pot…you don’t.”
- “The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.”
- “We’ve both grown up and changed, I love you, but that kind of love has changed, and it’s not the kind you want from me. I want us to be closest friends instead.”
- “I feel like I’m changing, and though I do love you and I really like spending time with you, I’m not as ‘in love’ with you anymore..”
- “I don’t think you have it in you to be a good mother. When I thought about marrying you, I only thought about whether you’d make a good wife…I didn’t think about whether you’d make a good mother too.”
- “I don’t want the responsibility of someone else’s happiness.”
- “I’m really sorry to have messed you about, but being with you has made me realise that I am gay and I can’t string you along anymore.”
- “I feel alive when I am with her, but I am very grateful to you.”
- “If you were about to say that you just wanted fun and no labels, I’d want to continue. But I think you want more.”
- “You just know me too well, and that freaks me out. You know what I am going to do before I do it, so I can’t do anything.”
- “I have no empathy for you just contempt and I think about suicide rather than staying with you.”
- “Really, it’s not you, I’m just going through a selfish phase…”
- “We don’t make each other happy, is that what you want to hear?”
- “I feel like this break up has made our relationship so much stronger.”
- “I really like you, you’re a lovely woman and we have great fun – you’re just not a long-term prospect.”
- “Maybe we have too much in common. We are too much alike.”
- “I don’t want you to feel like I’m breaking up with you. I just can’t be in a relationship with you anymore.”
- “I know it took me two years to finally get you out on a date, but now I’m feeling tied down…”
- “I just can’t live with the pathetic tickles that you call ‘sexual thrusts’ anymore.”
- “I’m leaving you. Do you want me to go tonight or tomorrow?”
These lines have been submitted for the purpose of the break-up lines book. Please ask permission to reprint them. Many of the lines have been taken down to put in the book – so please feel free to add yours below.
We have a new feature - animated breakup lines which bring these fantastic lines to life!
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“I’ve pulled away because it’s torture that we can’t be together for another month and I just can’t take it anymore. That’s why I’ve stopped contacting you.”
That’s a bit half-arsed isn’t it? It probably makes sense to him / her but doesn’t really make sense to me!
Hope you’re ok x
Mine said (2 days after proposing) “I just don’t have time for you.”
a cold night…her in my arms …in the park on a bench staring at the stars….she then looks at me with her beautiful sunflower eyes right at me in to my eyes……Its over.
Short and sweet…OK, not too sweet, but definitely short, eh? Hope you’re ok Ren. x
I don’t have TIME for you? That doesn’t make sense…two days after proposing? I mean what could change in 2 days? Hope you’re doing ok hon. x
Wanna see a magic trick? *POOF* You’re single.
“She doesn’t like you and doesn’t want you around the kids. What am I supposed to do?”
Well it’s annoying now hon but frankly that’s a hoot. I can’t just PICTURE that one. I Tweeted it it was so good
Hope you’re ok x
Lol. Oh yeah. Now last night’s was classic.
“This seems to be a one-way relationship, and I’m the only one pulling my weight. Before we can keep going, I need to make sure you do it by yourself first.”
Priceless. That doesn’t really even make sense. Or it does to him I guess
Thanks for sharing!
Me to Him: You used to be the most honest person I know, now you plan to move cities and don’t tell me. I don’t know you anymore. We are done.
Hi me venting a bit on the internet but just thought I’d share with you some juicy ones which were said to me recently, not all strictly the break up line/s as some were said after breakup or some leading up to it but still fall under same area of bullshit to say to someone to add salt into an already painful injury of being rejected and dumped!
“Maybe we’re not compatible”
“I think you feel more than I do and I don’t want to hurt you”
Me telling her how I feel and touching her cheek, and her replying: “There’s that feeling again I’m all confused, your not making this easy for me”
“Someone has come back into my life and there is a chance of romance”
“Maybe it’s because I have allot of options”
“We should be free to meet someone special”
“It would be a waste to stay together and miss that special someone”
“I was never certain of my feelings from the start”
“My feelings weren’t at a level I like them to be at when meeting someone”
“Maybe we were together in a previous life and this time I’m not making the same mistakes”
And all this from the same woman! if only we could choose who we fall for.
This was a cracker which I’ve shared on our FB page as the Break Up Line of the Day: “It would be a waste to stay together and miss that special someone”.[ #dumpedlinesthatmakenosense!]
Or this is pretty crackin’– “Maybe we were together in a previous life and this time I’m not making the same mistakes”
Me to him: we’re not meant to be. .. I am not ur woman and ur not my guy. Sorry but We’re done.
Well I guess that’s honest and to the point!
Honestly? It’s you not me, you’re just to perfect for some else. And I’m perfect for the girl on Facebook.
He said, “sorry for the long silence… I have personal issues lately…Happy Friday!”
Classy that!
Thanks for sharing! We’ll add it to the list!
i m sory for d long silence
forgive me…..
im a selfish bitch, and i get tired of people fast.
Roses are red violets are blue garbage gets dumped and so do you
Hey J – did you make that up yourself
Nice one! Mean but kinda funny / silly! 
these were used on me…
ouch!
ouCH!
OUCH!
“Let’s break up, the sooner the better, and save what’s left of us to the right ones”
“You should search for someone with the same principles and values like.”
“I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe i made the wrong choice”
All from the same woman
All in the same night
The gamble one is a good one
The others are a bit rambly
Thanks for sharing. Will tweet/post that one.
“I’ve never lived on my own before and I feel like it’s something I should do.” (He is 41 years old!)
THIS WAS HIS BREAKUP LINE-
I think you should go find someone who can give you what you want for your future. I live day to day I don’t think about the future. Maybe I should have discussed it in the beginning when we first met. MIND YOU WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS. HE TOLD ME I WAS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. SO I BROUGHT UP WHAT HE WANTED FOR OUR FUTURE. AND THE COWARD PANICKED AND BROKE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP. MIND YOU HE’S NOT A KID. HE’S 50 YEARS OLD. I TOLD HIM HIS EX WIFE DID A NUMBER ON HIM.
That’s more a line after 2 months not 2 years eh? :/
You’re probably right. I have an ex in that situation. Ex(es) did a real number on him too. It’s hard not to wish we got there sooner, I know…but things (relationships) go the way they’re meant to even if we don’t like it at the time (we often can see the good at the time but it’s always there).
Thanks for sharing the line x
do your feet hirt because you’ve been stomped on my dreams for years
I’m too tired… let me rest in your house, then I’ll pack my things and go
“I really don’t want to break up with you. I love you. But you’re a disgusting person and I find you utterly repugnant.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?” -Demitri Martin
is there someone following you cause i am seeing someone behind your back. ahhh sad sniffx2
“This is my last message to you. I know it’s not in person or voice but I have no other way. Hate me, call me a coward, but most importantly forget about me. I’m leaving you. I no longer have the feelings I did before. I have been drifting off because my friends are much closer to me. The relationship almost felt ‘fake’. The distance simply isn’t going to work, and I’m sorry about all the promises I couldn’t keep. If I told you I loved you, I’d only be lying to you and myself. You’re a good girl, find someone who will make you forget me. I will be cutting off all contact, I suggest you do the same. Stay strong. Your weak and cowardly Ex.”
My reaction:……………..What just….. Happened? *Cries for 10 hours straight*.
The conclusion: He left simply because now that he had real friends in his area, he didn’t need me anymore….. That fucking hurts.
There is someone walking behind you, turn around, it’s my ex. With a hammer to break you up(To the tune of There is Someone Walking Behind You from Final Destination 3)
that’s what I heard after over a year:
“I don’t think it will work, we’re just too diferent… see I like to watch sport, and you like to read books”
That was a good one Angie! I Facebooked it our So You’ve Been Dumped Stories page
LOL.
After 2 years of being together
I just never loved you. I thought I could grow to love you but you were such a jerk that I couldn’t.
WHORE.
“I’m sorry, I can’t. This is horrible, I’m sorry it’s through a text message, but I cant break your heart in person. You are an amazing person Tony, and I don’t deserve you. I’m not ready for this. I’m too involved with my work and I just don’t have time for a relationship, and it sucks. Everything I thought I wanted wasn’t right… I’m sorry. This is awful. You will find someone better than me. You are the best boyfriend I have ever had… I just can’t handle one at the moment.. I love you, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
That’s a cracker! I Faceboked it!
Hope you’re ok x
On and off 2 years together and 3 Days after we agreed to get married, she left, this is text I get 3 weeks later:
I’m sorry I had a “nervous” breakdown. I’m sorry I hurt you….neither was intentional.
WTF?
Sorry for that hon but it’s a cracker to say the least! I FB’d it on our SYBD page! Hang in there. Sounds like this one really wasn’t personal as upsetting as it may be for now! x
“Im not prepared to take care of a wife. I need some time to figure out how to care for myself first. Maybe we can get together later but you never know what the future holds so I dont want to make any promises. I do love you though”
He’s in his early 20′s so I figured I can understand that. Then later he says…
“I dont know what I want. I know I love you. But I dont know if whats going to be the best person for me when I want to get married.”
That just doesnt
Ok, this one is original: I’m sorry, I can’t get back together with you, what would my brother say? I have to talk to him first. (He was 31)
I’ve gone home baby- sorry! I just can’t do this anymore.
This was on a post it note. ‘Home’ was to his mother’s where he still lived. Aged 47. So hurt
My ex said to me: so I was thinking, since I met someone that I also want to have sex with, I could have sex with her monday thru thursday and I would save our sex for friday thru sunday. If thats not an option, we need to break up.
I’ve heard that before (here not to me personally). Truly classic! What a charmer! x
Post it note from a 47 who’s gone home to mom. Praise Buddha – you’ve had a LUCKY EX-SCAPE there xx
Mine was the classic. ‘I need time’, ‘never lived on my own’, ‘too young’, ‘not sure what love is’… actually she did she was chasing it making plans behind behind my back and was moving on faster than speed of light. Just hope it was all worth it in the end ;0(
Time for you to put your money where your mouth is.
Now swallow it,
because I don’t want it.
That’s a cracker – thanks for sharing
this one offered to me after 5,5 years of bliss:
“I am so infatuated with her and confused, I need som space”!!!!!!!!! I am hurting so badly.
Your EX is hurting so badly? Ha! Well I guess it happens. Just because we love someone and are committed to them – doesn’t stop us being attracted to other people eh? I was that way after my “first love”. Fancied another guy – dumped him and a week later regretted it but he rebounded with the girl he was seeing before me (and married her I believe). So I guess I was a rebound but I digress! After 5.5 years – you’d kind of hope for more than that eh? Hang in there ok? x
This was the line given to me lol!
“Do you really want to continue this? Really start a life together, Have a home, a life just for me to leave you like 5 years later? Cause I will leave you one of these days and I don’t want to hurt you further.”
Funniest thing is as much as I cared for him at the time and was hurt when he left and stopped contact with me….I knew he ultimately did me a favor!
Yeah it’s good if they end it before the whole taffeta she-bang! Better to get out before the wedding, the property and the children – if not fully committed!
It was a favor I reckon too!
Here’s the text I received this weekend:
“I don’t want you to apologize or feel bad about anything. This is all me and I’m perfectly fine with being the piece of sh*t here.”
That’s a cracker. I shared it on our FB page
Thanks for sharing it. What a guy!
The break up line he gave me:
I feel that everything I will ask, you will give it to me
Ws doing sum thinking n I jst wanna renovate my lyf! N leave out things that I dnt hv use for anymore, n u one of those things
Ok so that’s, “I was doing some thinking and I just want to renovate my life and leave out the things in life I don’t have use for and you’re one of those things.”?
That’s not very nice is it. Was that actually said to you?
Aye and my response to that is “and so…?”
Lol.. That does help but hey you try not do it in such a harmful way because you never knw if it may happen to you with someone you deeply inlove with that the last break up which you took as a joke will end up being a joke to the next partner. Peace.
Hello thanks for the comment. I don’t understand what you’re saying here though. :-/
The thing is, I’m about to be 30 and I don’t want to be doing the same things I was doing in my 20′s.
I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass.
Ha ha ha I love it. J-the_guy! Good one!
Lena how are you doing now hon? I hope you’re adjusting ok! Happy 30th.
The best is yet to come!
Hmmmmm I remember my ex telling me . ” Do you have a place to stay this weekend?”
“Why, I thought I was going to be with you?” I said staring into his eyes as they look around the parking lot.
“This weekend I want to get my mind right….I mean I want some space.” he says. I look away and think for a moment, ” Huh?”
“If you don’t have a place to stay I guess you can stay with me….” he said as he walked away. I stood there scratching my head, thinking “huh?”, than saying it aloud again. He got into his dirty truck and drove away as I stood there still thinking, in shock, “Huh?”
Guys help :/ how can i get over being dumped :’(
I was dumped and ditched last night. So humiliating. She says she’s not over her ex. So I asked her, “Do you want me to leave you alone and stop contacting you?” She said, “No, no we can still be fwb and hang out.” I left to get water at the bar and she was gone. Texted her to see where she went….silence…never in my life, I tell you.
That’s a cracker though. A real WTF or as I saw on a book the other day SWTF (seriously,…).
You’ve had a lucky ex-scape by the sounds of it.
Thea x
I will always love you, but I just don’t like you very much.
“I know I have a lot of issues I have to deal with but I’m not ready to do that yet and I don’t know when I will be.” (“Aren’t we worth it?”) Blank stare.
The line i received was this:
“if my boyfriend would propose me, i will say yes.” at least honest, ha?