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What is a rebound relationship and why do so many people think it's a bad idea? A rebound relationship is one that occurs after the end of a significant love (sometimes it begins before the end) and most importantly before the grieving and healing processes are complete. We wonder, is love on the rebound a smart move? Lorna MacKinnon decides...

When you date on the rebound, there is a strong risk, unless you are extremely self-aware, of hurting yourself and others. If you are leaping into a new relationship to feel lovable, worthwhile, sexy, or whatever again, and the relationship bombs after a short time, you could find your self-esteem taking a sharp nosedive.

It is far better to take time out and look at your own part in what went wrong - what behaviours do you need to change, what would you do differently this time around (make sure that you do it!). Learn what you need from a partner and relationship.

Many people go chasing a partner who may have been suitable for us months or years ago but who cannot satisfy our new requirements. This is why so many people date the same type over and over again with predictable and unsatisfactory results.

If you dive straight into another relationship without working out what you really need, (rather than what you think you want from a new partner), you can find that the feelings for your old partner simply transfer to the new one, and there is the illusion that you've found someone totally "different" - when, in fact, you've found someone very much like your old love. When this happens, there is the very real danger that the issues, which drove you away from your previous partner are the very ones which threaten your new relationship.

If like most people, you find yourself feeling vulnerable after a divorce or break-up, you may find yourself going for someone who is the complete opposite of your partner, yet equally unsuitable. All of us know, on a sub-conscious level, what wasn't working in the relationship, so we look for someone who provides the remedy. However, the new you, who has been transformed by surviving a break-up, will not have the same needs as the old you, so a carelessly-chosen new partner may not provide the relief you need.

Rebound relationships can be the perfect remedy for heartbreak, as long as you are aware of their purpose and take your time to allow them to develop.

Use your judgement and do not rush in too quickly or get swept away by a misplaced sense of relief and gratitude.

Make sure that you see the person as they really are and not as you wish them to be. Do not expect them to fix or save you.

Try not to give into the temptation to force the pace of the relationship in the hope that you can make sure this one lasts - it won't!

For those of you tempted to date a rebounder, the biggest risk you face is that they may simply move on once they have healed, thus leaving your heart in tatters.

Make sure that you do not allow them to set the pace, which may be too fast for both of you and be aware that, if their mind is partly on their ex, their commitment to you may be less that 100%.

If you're prepared to take the risk, then take your time, allow the relationship to develop slowly, communicate with each other and take good care of yourself emotionally while that deep and meaningful relationship develops.

Lorna MacKinnon is an author, speaker and award winning life strategist. She can be contacted by visiting her at website cosmic coaching.