home >  ex-files > Mr. Right? Or Mr. Right Now? By Lisa Daily

We've all done it. We're smack in the middle of a ho-hum, so-so, not going anywhere relationship. But, we don't break up. We stay. We go out for linguini every Friday night, have a sleepover every Saturday night, and continue on as though we might actually want to be with this person on a permanent basis. Except, of course, that we don't. And it's not that there's anything wrong with him (or her), except that he's just not "The One."

Then, we start to think of our alternatives. What will happen if we break it off? Staying home on Saturday nights for the rest of our lives? Getting stuck at the singles table at every wedding for the rest of the decade? A lonely, desperate life of Wheel of Fortune, solitary, TV dinners and rescued pets? So we stay. After all, it's not really that bad, right? Sure he doesn't make your toes tingle when you kiss. Sure, she's addicted to reality television. Sure, his clothes are well, obnoxious.

But here's what happens when you stay in a relationship you're not meant to be in: Every Saturday night you're spending with Mr. Right Now, is a Saturday night you're missing with Mr. Right. Think about it. While you're yawning through another night of blah-blah togetherness, your perfect match could be circling the block. Why do we stay with the incumbent? Because not-exactly-perfect is a lot less scary than whatever is behind door number three.

Sometimes we worry that if we drop the person we're with that nobody better ever will come along, and that we'll lose the best thing that has ever happened to us in search of the ever-elusive toe-curler that may not even exist.

Most people believe in their hearts that there is at least one perfect match for all of us. I am no exception: I met my perfect match the week after a three-year bland-as-white-toast relationship finally dragged itself to an end. If you're looking for something great to come into your life, you have to make room for it. In other words, if you stuff yourself with macaroni and cheese all day, and you won't have any room to spare to lobster. Or triple-decker chocolate-covered cheesecake.

And, in all fairness, your King of Monotony may be somebody else's Prince Charming. All it takes is one brave step, one chance taken to snag the guy or girl of your dreams. Just step away from the macaroni, and head out the door.

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(C) Copyright 2004 by Lisa Daily

Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere. As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and Ricki Lake Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging techniques, at http://www.stopgettingdumped.com