REAL THREADS: A Question of Age – “Is 50 too old?”

Hello from rainy San Francisco. I say “rainy” because I have so many friends back in Scotland who assume the sun shines year-round here, and it’s of course not the case…They seldom believe me when I say we get all kinds of weather here – even snow but I digress,…

Age Old Question

So taking refuge from the rain, as I sit on my hotel bed, I turn to SYBD to see what’s happening in the forum.

It’s not long before a post has caught my eye – from an Englishman who’s 50 and wondering if he’s passed his “sell by” date. (Incidentally, that’s my terminology, not his, in his thread).

If 40 is the new 20 then 50 must be the new 30, surely?

Is it the case that any of us are “too old” in the dating department?

The thread points out that the usual cliches that “age is just a number” (among other comments) and really it’s down to the attitude of the person.

I’d largely agree with those sentiments.

I’ll never forget hearing a great story at a woman’s group in Glasgow. At a night out, the woman  seated across from me was gushing about her newlywed status which was  just darling.

You see, after fifty years apart (and having become widowed in that time) she found her high school sweetheart at the local swimming baths. Well, she ran into his sister actually,  but then found out her old sweetie pie was also currently single and the next thing you know they’re dating and soon after engaged at the ripe age of seventy one.

Isn’t that great? Stories like that give me hope.

As I sit here on this hotel bed, I’m actually having trouble remembering how old I am. Seriously. That’s how much I think about age. I’ve dated younger men and older men and most recently one the same age. They’ve all been great guys and age was never the reason for things working out or not. Ever.

The only time, in my own opinion, that age comes into it is when it comes to the desire of having children – biologically speaking, and even that is not necessarily a huge factor (given women can have kids even up until their fifties these days and men can pretty much anytime).

So what about you? Is age a factor? Do you think someone who’s fifty has passed their “sell by” date or can people be desirable at sixty or seventy? Is it just a state of mind? Would you date someone much older than you? How about much younger? Does age come into it?

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

At the end of the day – I’ve known 50-year-olds who seem 30 and vice versa.

Two weeks ago here in SF - I saw my “hero” Wayne Dyer who is 70 and looks more fit than some forty-somethings I know. It’s all in the attitude people.

Mark Twain sums my view up best saying

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”


But enough about me and my opinions, what’s yours?

FUN: My New Video Celebrating 10 Years of Break Up Lines

No Dumping!

Over the last ten years we’ve had thousands of break-up lines sent into soyouvebeendumped.com. Some of them really funny, some of them painfully cruel, and still others are complete cliches. In any event, over the last six months, I’ve been polishing off a book of real lines and stories that were emailed direct or posted on this site.

It is my hope the book is ready for our 10th birthday on Independence Day this year – (July 4th for you non-Americans).

For now though, I thought I’d give you a wee teaser.  I’ve not used all my best lines – gotta keep some for the book…

Many people who stumble across our site do so because they’ve searched for “Break Up Lines” so this one is especially for you.

I’d like to thank my buddy Geoff Martyn who was the one person who created this site with me ten years ago and who, with his band a few years ago, sang this song “Bring Me Down”. Cheers G.

Hope you enjoy!

Thanks for watching and if you like it – please pass along this page, would you? Many thanks. Happy Friday folks.

FUN: The Rules for Men

This was sent in to my radio show just now and though I’ve seen it before, I thought it might be worth sharing. After all this is an equal opportunity site, we all need a laugh. I’ve taken some poetic license with the content and I’m not sure where it originated from but it’s pretty good, I think. To be honest, I am rather guilty of a number of these crimes…(e.g. – expecting a guy to be a “mind reader” and to put the toilet seat down – lol).
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We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

1.  Men are NOT mind readers.

2.  Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3.  Sunday sports:  It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4.  Crying is blackmail.

5.  Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6.  “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7.  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for…

8.  Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after seven Days.

9.  If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

10.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

11.  You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both..If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

12.  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials…

13.  Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

14.  ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

15.  If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

16.  If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” – we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

17.  If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

18.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.

19.  Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

20.  You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

21.  I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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So yeah some of them are quite funny and “spot on” – aren’t they? I know I am guilty of one or two of them.

It’s that whole Mars/Venus thing though – is it not? The battle of the sexes wages on…

FUN: Annoying Cliches Spouted to the Dumped

It doesn’t seem to matter whether you were dumped or did the dumping yourself – both parties are subjected to many of the universal pearls of wisdom below – from just about everyone they know.

It happens because people don’t know what to say to you – and so they resort to the tried and true remarks which are very true – however annoying! Some of those remarks are:

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“If you were meant to be together, you’d be together.”

“You are so young, you have time to find the right one.”

“You are too nice for him.”

“It’s for the best.”

“No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is won’t make you cry.”

“There’s a cover for every pot.”

“Time heals all wounds.”

“It obviously wasn’t meant to be.”

“It couldn’t have been ‘right.”

“There are other fish in the sea.”

“Whatever is for ye won’t go by ye.”

“Men (women) are like buses – another one will be along in 15 minutes.”

“Things always work out for the best.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“Someone better is just around the corner.”

“What comes around goes around.”

“You get back what you give.”

“They’ll get theirs.”

“He (she) will regret it.”

“When one door closes another one opens.”

All of them are true – but when you’re reeling from a cold heart dumping, they offer little consolation. More often than not they make us feel worse. They really do.

So try to remember:

1) If you’re going through a break up and hear the above phrases know that people are just trying to help…

And

2) If you’re witnessing someone else’s heartbreak – be it a family member, a friend or work colleague – try to avoid the cliches.

All you have to do is just listen. If someone really needs advice – send them to soyouvebeendumped.com and leave it to us!

NOTE: This is a very old piece from the early days of SYBD and was resurrected  due to a new thread that just started today by a brand new site member. When I went to refer her to it I noticed it had never got moved over from the old site – earlier this year  – and so today it’s back! Thanks for the inspiration! :)