Breakup Lines

If you wound up here because you were searching for “funny breakup lines” (and 1000s of you each month are), then you’re in for a real treat! Here are some of the lines that people have used to dump their partners that have been sent in since 2000.

Please have a read and then share or give us a +1 if you liked them. Also feel free to add yours in the comments below! Thanks!

  • “You’re an investment with no return.”
  • “I was asked to make a choice. If I had not been asked, I may have chosen differently”.
  • “I just don’t think we’re ‘suitable’ suitable”.
  • “I feel like this break up has made our relationship so much stronger.”
  • “I have only still been seeing you because I felt obliged to, and, if we were right for each other, neither of us should feel like that.”
  • “I love you toooooo much, it’s driving me mad.”
  • “Sorry for the long silence…I have personal issues lately…Happy Friday!”
  • “I know it took me two years to finally get you out on a date, but now I’m feeling tied down…”
  • “I just can’t live with the pathetic tickles that you call ‘sexual thrusts’ anymore.”
  • “I’m leaving you. Do you want me to go tonight or tomorrow?”
  • “I just can’t take the bad sex anymore”.
  • “Honestly? It’s you not me, you’re just too perfect for some else. And I’m perfect for the girl on Facebook.”
  • “You’re perfect in every way, just not for me.”

Break up line: "I get so emotional when you're not around..."

  • “Oh, sorry, but l am going to my brother’s wedding, and you not invited….”
  • “It’s not you. You’re fine, lovely in fact, and much smarter than me. It’s just I want to pursue younger women.”
  • “Maybe this breakup will be good for you, since you’ve never really experienced pain before.”
  • “I’m just not feeling ‘it’ – so I want a divorce.”
  • “I enjoy your company, fancy you like crazy, and love having sex with you, but I don’t love you and I never will.”

  • “The problem with our relationship is, we’re in a relationship.”
  • “Just the fact that you had to sit me down and talk about our communication problems means that were not going to work out, and we should end our relationship.”
  • “Really, our time together has just become more effort than you’re worth.”
  • “You care too much about celebrities.”
  • “I wish I could say you were the most special person in the Dumped: Post it-Note on mobile, but you’re not.”
  • “I don’t want to have to go on holiday to see my girlfriend. It’s just not fun anymore.”
  • “You’re not Mr. Right – just Mr. Right Now.”
  • “If only I were in love with just one girl, not two.”
  • “I love you, but I’m not in love with you, so I guess I’m more of a lesbian than we thought.”
  • “Hmmm, I am not sure that I want to do this anymore…”
  • “You have your own life. You have a job. You can’t sleep with me in my bed every night. I really don’t even like her, but she lets me drink.”
  • “I want to have fun, and I’m not ready to carry a burden through my youth.”
  • “You have an irrational (emotional) intensive feeling for me which frightens me.”
  • “I just can’t come up tonight. This whole thing is just making me ill.”
  • “You don’t engage me anymore”.
  • “I bought my baby’s mama an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day. Since this is the last time we’ll be together, I hope you want to get real freaky.”
  • “I need to see other women to prove to myself that my love for you is genuine.”
  • “She said that she was better for me than you, so I had no choice but to defend our love and prove her wrong…You should be thanking me for this.”
  • “I’ll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow.”

  • “I need to tell you that someone from my past has come back into my life. I knew her years ago but there were so many things that interfered with her and I having a relationship that could not be overcome, but that has passed and now she and I are making another attempt.”

    • “I’m making a changes in my life that don’t include you. I’m sorry. I love you but I’m going through a quarter life crisis right now. You know I’m not going to live much longer because all prodigies die young.”
    • “Isn’t six and a half years long enough?”
    • “You know how Fromm talks about love being an active process? Well, I’m afraid love didn’t even grow. I’m looking for a Soulmate and you’re not her.”
    • “It just fizzled out, I am sorry. We are still buds, just not like before, I can’t do it.”
    • “Please understand that I care for you deeply, but need to finalize my thoughts with her good or bad – for my sake. But I would still like to take you to lunch and call you if that is OK with you. I just can’t see you right now.”
    • “I am having a disruption in my professional life (leaving my job), so I thought that I may as well have a disruption in my personal life.”
    • “My ‘friend’ has asked me to move in with her and I’ve agreed, is it alright if I move out on Saturday?”
    • “My dick is committed to you, but my heart is not.”
    • “You are the only really good girl I’ve ever met, I will probably never meet anyone like you again. You are really marriage material. If we stay together, we will get married in a few years, BUT I’m not sure I am ready to commit to one person.”
    • “I just can’t handle the distance…I’m so sorry.”
    • “This isn’t easy and neither are you…I’m breaking up with you.”
    • “I just don’t know how much longer I can do this charade that I am happy with the relationship as it is.”
    • “Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab.”
    • “I’d like to think that I just need some time, because I really miss you, but really I never loved you and I miss everyone else”.
    • “I love you. I love hanging out with you. You are so easy to live with. I want everything to remain the same except the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.”
    • “I know that if I continue seeing you that you that I will want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I’m not ready for that, so I don’t want to see you anymore.”
    • “Yes, I thought we were getting to the point in our relationship where I might start to fall in love with you, but your insecurities about how I feel about you have made it clear that I can never fall in love with you.”
    • “You’re a great guy, but I have so much baggage, and right now I have more bad days than good days…It wouldn’t be fair to subject you to that.”
    • “I still care about you, but I just don’t find my heart jumping out of my chest when I see you anymore.”
    • “I have lost all romantic feelings for you completely, and I desire no future relationship with you.”
    • “She’s exactly like you used to be – before you became a bitch.”
    • “I think you love me more than I love you.”
    • “Bad news, I met someone last night, and as I neither want to cheat on you nor bull**** you, we should keep seeing us as ‘friends’ only,…if it is OK for you?”
    • “I’m looking for a long-term relationship, and I just can’t pursue that with you.”
    • “I think we both rushed into this relationship so fast but forgot to get to know each other. We should have taken our time. You can’t fall in love in two months, but we were so keen to try.”
    • “We both have some of the qualities we want, but not all of them. I want nothing or easier.”
    • “The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.”
    • “We’ve both grown up and changed, I love you, but that kind of love has changed, and it’s not the kind you want from me. I want us to be closest friends instead.”
    • “I feel like I’m changing, and though I do love you and I really like spending time with you, I’m not as ‘in love’ with you anymore..”
    • “I don’t think you have it in you to be a good mother. When I thought about marrying you, I only thought about whether you’d make a good wife…I didn’t think about whether you’d make a good mother too.”
    • “I don’t want the responsibility of someone else’s happiness.”
    • “I’m really sorry to have messed you about, but being with you has made me realise that I am gay and I can’t string you along anymore.”
    • “I feel alive when I am with her, but I am very grateful to you.”
    • “If you were about to say that you just wanted fun and no labels, I’d want to continue. But I think you want more.”
    • “Really, it’s not you, I’m just going through a selfish phase…”
    • “We don’t make each other happy, is that what you want to hear?”
    • “I really like you, you’re a lovely woman and we have great fun  – you’re just not a long-term prospect.”
    • “Maybe we have too much in common. We are too much alike.”
    • “I don’t want you to feel like I’m breaking up with you. I just can’t be in a relationship with you anymore.”
    • “You’re Muslim, and I’m Hindu, this is never going to work, I’m sorry.”

 What 2 words would you say for your ex?These breakup lines have been submitted for the purpose of a future breakup lines book or app (which I will get around to creating one of these days!)…

Please ask permission to reprint them. Stealing them is uncool. Many of the lines have been taken down to put in the book – so please feel free to add yours in the comments section below. (There are more than 100 more).

If you could say 2 words to your ex right now – what would they be?

155 thoughts on “Breakup Lines

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  • December 23, 2011 at 4:20 AM

    “I’ve pulled away because it’s torture that we can’t be together for another month and I just can’t take it anymore. That’s why I’ve stopped contacting you.”

  • December 23, 2011 at 5:29 AM

    That’s a bit half-arsed isn’t it? It probably makes sense to him / her but doesn’t really make sense to me! :) Hope you’re ok x

  • December 27, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    Mine said (2 days after proposing) “I just don’t have time for you.”

  • December 29, 2011 at 12:33 AM

    a cold night…her in my arms …in the park on a bench staring at the stars….she then looks at me with her beautiful sunflower eyes right at me in to my eyes……Its over.

  • December 29, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    Short and sweet…OK, not too sweet, but definitely short, eh? Hope you’re ok Ren. x

  • December 29, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    I don’t have TIME for you? That doesn’t make sense…two days after proposing? I mean what could change in 2 days? Hope you’re doing ok hon. x

  • December 29, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    Wanna see a magic trick? *POOF* You’re single.

  • January 25, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    “She doesn’t like you and doesn’t want you around the kids. What am I supposed to do?”

  • January 25, 2012 at 7:25 PM

    Well it’s annoying now hon but frankly that’s a hoot. I can’t just PICTURE that one. I Tweeted it it was so good :) Hope you’re ok x

  • January 26, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    Lol. Oh yeah. Now last night’s was classic.
    “This seems to be a one-way relationship, and I’m the only one pulling my weight. Before we can keep going, I need to make sure you do it by yourself first.”

  • January 26, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    Priceless. That doesn’t really even make sense. Or it does to him I guess :) Thanks for sharing!

  • January 31, 2012 at 6:41 AM

    Me to Him: You used to be the most honest person I know, now you plan to move cities and don’t tell me. I don’t know you anymore. We are done.

  • February 5, 2012 at 9:36 PM

    Hi me venting a bit on the internet but just thought I’d share with you some juicy ones which were said to me recently, not all strictly the break up line/s as some were said after breakup or some leading up to it but still fall under same area of bullshit to say to someone to add salt into an already painful injury of being rejected and dumped!

    “Maybe we’re not compatible”

    “I think you feel more than I do and I don’t want to hurt you”

    Me telling her how I feel and touching her cheek, and her replying: “There’s that feeling again I’m all confused, your not making this easy for me”

    “Someone has come back into my life and there is a chance of romance”

    “Maybe it’s because I have allot of options”

    “We should be free to meet someone special”

    “It would be a waste to stay together and miss that special someone”

    “I was never certain of my feelings from the start”

    “My feelings weren’t at a level I like them to be at when meeting someone”

    “Maybe we were together in a previous life and this time I’m not making the same mistakes”

    And all this from the same woman! if only we could choose who we fall for.

  • February 11, 2012 at 9:03 AM

    This was a cracker which I’ve shared on our FB page as the Break Up Line of the Day: “It would be a waste to stay together and miss that special someone”.[ #dumpedlinesthatmakenosense!]

    Or this is pretty crackin’– “Maybe we were together in a previous life and this time I’m not making the same mistakes”

  • February 13, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    Me to him: we’re not meant to be. .. I am not ur woman and ur not my guy. Sorry but We’re done.

  • February 19, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    Well I guess that’s honest and to the point! :)

  • February 24, 2012 at 4:59 AM

    Honestly? It’s you not me, you’re just to perfect for some else. And I’m perfect for the girl on Facebook.

  • February 27, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    He said, “sorry for the long silence… I have personal issues lately…Happy Friday!”

  • February 27, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    Classy that! :) Thanks for sharing! We’ll add it to the list!

  • March 3, 2012 at 4:12 AM

    i m sory for d long silence
    forgive me…..

  • March 5, 2012 at 4:01 AM

    im a selfish bitch, and i get tired of people fast.

  • March 12, 2012 at 5:55 AM

    Roses are red violets are blue garbage gets dumped and so do you

  • March 14, 2012 at 8:29 PM

    Hey J – did you make that up yourself :) Nice one! Mean but kinda funny / silly! :)

  • March 17, 2012 at 7:27 AM

    these were used on me…


    “Let’s break up, the sooner the better, and save what’s left of us to the right ones”

    “You should search for someone with the same principles and values like.”

    “I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe i made the wrong choice”

    All from the same woman
    All in the same night

  • March 17, 2012 at 10:15 AM

    The gamble one is a good one :)

    The others are a bit rambly :)

    Thanks for sharing. Will tweet/post that one.

  • March 22, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    “I’ve never lived on my own before and I feel like it’s something I should do.” (He is 41 years old!)

  • March 23, 2012 at 12:38 AM

    I think you should go find someone who can give you what you want for your future. I live day to day I don’t think about the future. Maybe I should have discussed it in the beginning when we first met. MIND YOU WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS. HE TOLD ME I WAS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. SO I BROUGHT UP WHAT HE WANTED FOR OUR FUTURE. AND THE COWARD PANICKED AND BROKE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP. MIND YOU HE’S NOT A KID. HE’S 50 YEARS OLD. I TOLD HIM HIS EX WIFE DID A NUMBER ON HIM.

  • March 24, 2012 at 10:37 PM

    That’s more a line after 2 months not 2 years eh? :/

    You’re probably right. I have an ex in that situation. Ex(es) did a real number on him too. It’s hard not to wish we got there sooner, I know…but things (relationships) go the way they’re meant to even if we don’t like it at the time (we often can see the good at the time but it’s always there).

    Thanks for sharing the line x

  • April 5, 2012 at 2:27 PM

    do your feet hirt because you’ve been stomped on my dreams for years

  • April 17, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    I’m too tired… let me rest in your house, then I’ll pack my things and go

  • April 29, 2012 at 10:33 PM

    “I really don’t want to break up with you. I love you. But you’re a disgusting person and I find you utterly repugnant.”

  • May 1, 2012 at 3:09 AM

    “Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?” -Demitri Martin

  • May 1, 2012 at 7:15 PM

    is there someone following you cause i am seeing someone behind your back. ahhh sad sniffx2

  • May 13, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    “This is my last message to you. I know it’s not in person or voice but I have no other way. Hate me, call me a coward, but most importantly forget about me. I’m leaving you. I no longer have the feelings I did before. I have been drifting off because my friends are much closer to me. The relationship almost felt ‘fake’. The distance simply isn’t going to work, and I’m sorry about all the promises I couldn’t keep. If I told you I loved you, I’d only be lying to you and myself. You’re a good girl, find someone who will make you forget me. I will be cutting off all contact, I suggest you do the same. Stay strong. Your weak and cowardly Ex.”

    My reaction:……………..What just….. Happened? *Cries for 10 hours straight*.

    The conclusion: He left simply because now that he had real friends in his area, he didn’t need me anymore….. That fucking hurts.

  • May 16, 2012 at 2:56 AM

    There is someone walking behind you, turn around, it’s my ex. With a hammer to break you up(To the tune of There is Someone Walking Behind You from Final Destination 3)

  • May 16, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    that’s what I heard after over a year:
    “I don’t think it will work, we’re just too diferent… see I like to watch sport, and you like to read books”

  • May 23, 2012 at 7:25 PM

    That was a good one Angie! I Facebooked it our So You’ve Been Dumped Stories page :) LOL.

  • May 24, 2012 at 5:23 AM

    After 2 years of being together

    I just never loved you. I thought I could grow to love you but you were such a jerk that I couldn’t.


  • May 27, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    “I’m sorry, I can’t. This is horrible, I’m sorry it’s through a text message, but I cant break your heart in person. You are an amazing person Tony, and I don’t deserve you. I’m not ready for this. I’m too involved with my work and I just don’t have time for a relationship, and it sucks. Everything I thought I wanted wasn’t right… I’m sorry. This is awful. You will find someone better than me. You are the best boyfriend I have ever had… I just can’t handle one at the moment.. I love you, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

  • May 31, 2012 at 5:59 AM

    That’s a cracker! I Faceboked it! :) Hope you’re ok x

  • June 11, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    On and off 2 years together and 3 Days after we agreed to get married, she left, this is text I get 3 weeks later:

    I’m sorry I had a “nervous” breakdown. I’m sorry I hurt you….neither was intentional.


  • June 11, 2012 at 7:59 PM

    Sorry for that hon but it’s a cracker to say the least! I FB’d it on our SYBD page! Hang in there. Sounds like this one really wasn’t personal as upsetting as it may be for now! x

  • June 15, 2012 at 3:50 AM

    “Im not prepared to take care of a wife. I need some time to figure out how to care for myself first. Maybe we can get together later but you never know what the future holds so I dont want to make any promises. I do love you though”
    He’s in his early 20’s so I figured I can understand that. Then later he says…
    “I dont know what I want. I know I love you. But I dont know if whats going to be the best person for me when I want to get married.”
    That just doesnt

  • June 15, 2012 at 7:05 AM

    Ok, this one is original: I’m sorry, I can’t get back together with you, what would my brother say? I have to talk to him first. (He was 31)

  • July 11, 2012 at 7:53 PM

    I’ve gone home baby- sorry! I just can’t do this anymore.

    This was on a post it note. ‘Home’ was to his mother’s where he still lived. Aged 47. So hurt :(

  • July 12, 2012 at 3:00 AM

    My ex said to me: so I was thinking, since I met someone that I also want to have sex with, I could have sex with her monday thru thursday and I would save our sex for friday thru sunday. If thats not an option, we need to break up.

  • July 13, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    I’ve heard that before (here not to me personally). Truly classic! What a charmer! x

  • July 13, 2012 at 10:02 AM

    Post it note from a 47 who’s gone home to mom. Praise Buddha – you’ve had a LUCKY EX-SCAPE there xx

  • July 16, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    Mine was the classic. ‘I need time’, ‘never lived on my own’, ‘too young’, ‘not sure what love is’… actually she did she was chasing it making plans behind behind my back and was moving on faster than speed of light. Just hope it was all worth it in the end ;0(

  • August 12, 2012 at 12:38 AM

    Time for you to put your money where your mouth is.
    Now swallow it,
    because I don’t want it.

  • August 12, 2012 at 3:37 AM

    That’s a cracker – thanks for sharing :)

  • August 16, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    this one offered to me after 5,5 years of bliss:

    “I am so infatuated with her and confused, I need som space”!!!!!!!!! I am hurting so badly.

  • August 17, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    Your EX is hurting so badly? Ha! Well I guess it happens. Just because we love someone and are committed to them – doesn’t stop us being attracted to other people eh? I was that way after my “first love”. Fancied another guy – dumped him and a week later regretted it but he rebounded with the girl he was seeing before me (and married her I believe). So I guess I was a rebound but I digress! After 5.5 years – you’d kind of hope for more than that eh? Hang in there ok? x

  • August 19, 2012 at 11:22 AM

    This was the line given to me lol!
    “Do you really want to continue this? Really start a life together, Have a home, a life just for me to leave you like 5 years later? Cause I will leave you one of these days and I don’t want to hurt you further.”

    Funniest thing is as much as I cared for him at the time and was hurt when he left and stopped contact with me….I knew he ultimately did me a favor!

  • August 19, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Yeah it’s good if they end it before the whole taffeta she-bang! Better to get out before the wedding, the property and the children – if not fully committed! :)

    It was a favor I reckon too!

  • August 20, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    Here’s the text I received this weekend:

    “I don’t want you to apologize or feel bad about anything. This is all me and I’m perfectly fine with being the piece of sh*t here.”

  • August 22, 2012 at 10:18 PM

    That’s a cracker. I shared it on our FB page :) Thanks for sharing it. What a guy!

  • September 9, 2012 at 7:45 PM

    The break up line he gave me:
    I feel that everything I will ask, you will give it to me

  • September 10, 2012 at 6:08 PM

    Ws doing sum thinking n I jst wanna renovate my lyf! N leave out things that I dnt hv use for anymore, n u one of those things

  • September 11, 2012 at 5:55 AM

    Ok so that’s, “I was doing some thinking and I just want to renovate my life and leave out the things in life I don’t have use for and you’re one of those things.”?

    That’s not very nice is it. Was that actually said to you?

  • September 11, 2012 at 5:56 AM

    Aye and my response to that is “and so…?” :)

  • September 24, 2012 at 9:09 AM

    Lol.. That does help but hey you try not do it in such a harmful way because you never knw if it may happen to you with someone you deeply inlove with that the last break up which you took as a joke will end up being a joke to the next partner. Peace.

  • September 24, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    Hello thanks for the comment. I don’t understand what you’re saying here though. :-/

  • September 25, 2012 at 5:52 PM

    The thing is, I’m about to be 30 and I don’t want to be doing the same things I was doing in my 20’s.

  • September 27, 2012 at 7:43 AM

    I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass.

  • September 27, 2012 at 8:13 AM

    Ha ha ha I love it. J-the_guy! Good one!

  • October 4, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Lena how are you doing now hon? I hope you’re adjusting ok! Happy 30th.

    The best is yet to come!

  • October 12, 2012 at 12:35 AM

    Hmmmmm I remember my ex telling me . ” Do you have a place to stay this weekend?”
    “Why, I thought I was going to be with you?” I said staring into his eyes as they look around the parking lot.
    “This weekend I want to get my mind right….I mean I want some space.” he says. I look away and think for a moment, ” Huh?”
    “If you don’t have a place to stay I guess you can stay with me….” he said as he walked away. I stood there scratching my head, thinking “huh?”, than saying it aloud again. He got into his dirty truck and drove away as I stood there still thinking, in shock, “Huh?”

  • October 29, 2012 at 12:38 PM

    Guys help :/ how can i get over being dumped :'(

  • November 3, 2012 at 11:28 PM

    I was dumped and ditched last night. So humiliating. She says she’s not over her ex. So I asked her, “Do you want me to leave you alone and stop contacting you?” She said, “No, no we can still be fwb and hang out.” I left to get water at the bar and she was gone. Texted her to see where she went….silence…never in my life, I tell you.

  • November 4, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    That’s a cracker though. A real WTF or as I saw on a book the other day SWTF (seriously,…).

    You’ve had a lucky ex-scape by the sounds of it.

    Thea x

  • November 5, 2012 at 10:42 PM

    I will always love you, but I just don’t like you very much.

  • November 17, 2012 at 1:55 AM

    “I know I have a lot of issues I have to deal with but I’m not ready to do that yet and I don’t know when I will be.” (“Aren’t we worth it?”) Blank stare.

  • March 11, 2013 at 11:12 PM

    The line i received was this:
    “if my boyfriend would propose me, i will say yes.” at least honest, ha?

  • May 23, 2013 at 11:39 PM

    “I just don’t know how to show you I care about you, and you need that. It’s not you that’s needy.. It’s that I can’t give you what you deserve. I can’t be the guy that you’re looking for ‘cse I’m just not that guy. You’re incredible and any guy would be lucky to have you and there are guys who would do anything to be with you. I don’t know how to show you I care about you.”

  • June 3, 2013 at 8:41 AM

    I got this one a couple of days ago, “We can still see each other as friends, but I’m not going to sleep with you. Too complicated.”

  • June 11, 2013 at 5:54 PM

    I realized you nothing but a dam leech lowlife bum, therefore push the hell on! find some other stupid bitch on fb to support you pothead ass cause i’m much stronger and wiser now sammy! we’re done perro.

  • June 18, 2013 at 5:32 AM

    After not seeing him in person for a couple of weeks, but watching him go out on a daily basis with his female cousin who was staying with him till she found a house, this conversation took place via text.

    Me: will I see you this weekend?
    Him: Not sure, I’ll let you know.
    Me: why are you unsure? You either want to see me or you don’t but I’m not going to hide from your family anymore.
    Him: Sick of it being you you you, were done, finished.

    This was after almost 2 years, he was 45 and I’m 29. He asked me for space before his cousin moved in as he was also trying to get access to his son, and I was happy to give him time for that. But, after the cousin moved in he asked me not to come over in a text message, then I had to watch them do everything we never did together, like food shopping and going out on a Saturday night. Now 4 weeks later the cousin is still there in his 1 bedroom place across the road from me, coming and going as she pleases with what used to be my key, which he wanted back as soon as she moved in.
    We never went out as a couple, he never made it to any family gathering I invited him to, including my brother’s wedding reception, I never met his family or friends. We had sex but he rarely stayed the night, I did his shopping for him, I cleaned his home, paid his bills (with his money though), the only thing I never did was cook for him as he would never let me. I think he was either incredibly shy or I was a bit on the side and he was afraid to be seen with me incase it got back to his actual girlfriend. Lucky ex-scape?

  • June 20, 2013 at 9:09 PM

    Sweetie – it hurts now but man you’ve had a lucky ex-scape with that one. If you never went out as a couple, did shopping, etc and he asked for his key back – then good riddance to that. Make way for a man who treats you fab, adores you, will go in and out of your place treating you like the lovely person you are! Really you’ll be grateful about this in time. I swear!! Thea x

  • June 20, 2013 at 9:10 PM

    Sorry for the delay in approving your post! dam-lowlife-bum. Wow! :)

  • June 21, 2013 at 6:44 PM

    I had noticed he was pulling away (again) from our five year relationship. A week after being stood up to talk about it, I receive this email message, “I hope you’re okay. I’m putting together an email to send you this weekend.” I replied that I didn’t want to read about it, so I haven’t heard from him since.

  • July 5, 2013 at 10:17 AM

    He said he didn’t know who he was anymore and dumped me. Held my hand to his face while I cried for hours.

  • July 22, 2013 at 11:19 AM

    3 days ago,after 5 years together , my boyfriend told me he wanted to ‘buy a sports car, get drunk and listen to loud music’ and that I was ‘in his way’-gutted

  • July 22, 2013 at 11:49 AM

    So the line was “I want to buy a sports car, get drunk, listen to loud music, and you’re in my way!” then?

    I am sorry hon. That’s a pretty laughable sort of explanation after 5 years together. How old is he?

  • August 16, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    me to her*
    Sorry it was Black ops 2 or you and Black Ops 2 is an important of my life so… see ya

    This relationship had been off and on for a year and it was going no where i tried my hardest to be as sensitive as i could*

  • August 28, 2013 at 3:50 AM

    It’s definitely a new beginning for me

  • September 10, 2013 at 1:13 PM


  • September 20, 2013 at 6:58 AM

    Here is my break up line from him:
    Hey i think you great girl but got lot goin on right now thought i was ready for relationship but im not just need sometime to myself.

  • September 24, 2013 at 9:44 PM

    That line is far too common for my liking. How are you doing now hon? Was it a shocker to hear? Or had you some kind of indication?

  • October 8, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    Not a line, but a gesture: a kiss on the cheek right before leaving on a month’s holiday abroad.

  • October 14, 2013 at 5:49 PM

    He dumped me on text message the day after my dad’s funeral and then texted, “I’m really sorry, and thanks for the good times! I wish you all the best! You are a wonderful woman! Take care!!” He can take all those exclamation marks and stick them up his bottom.

  • October 15, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    Aww that’s a shame hon. I am so sorry about your loss, the father not the guy! The guy doesn’t sound like that much of a loss. Was it just a few dates or an out and out relationship? Either way the timing and the method were not ideal eh? You did make me smile with that last line. xx

  • October 19, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    You texting me with lowercase letters? It’s over!!!

  • October 28, 2013 at 10:14 AM

    “I want to go now I need my space,” this is after I Paid all expenses for a 5 day holiday, for the second time, he uses my car (to save petrol using his) comes down for the weekend I pay for all food, when I got sick and asked him to drive me to the Dr’s again he said he has to go home he is having lunch with his daughter! what kind of fool am I?

  • November 2, 2013 at 5:10 AM

    “We need to talk, I should have done this a year ago but it’s over, it just gets too intense. Sorry. “

  • December 6, 2013 at 9:40 PM

    ” I really do love you, I just don’t have the time that this relationship needs.”

  • December 8, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    Sorry I thought I approved this the other day! Will share it in our FB page. Classic. Hope you’re ok!! x

  • December 10, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    me: Have you fallen out of love with me?
    him: Yes
    Me: Do you miss me?
    him: No, I feel guilty but I don’t miss you… I am sure you will find someone who’s going to give you everything you want.

  • December 21, 2013 at 5:57 AM

    “And if you want that stuffed animal then I’m done with you.”

    (I was the recipent)

  • December 21, 2013 at 5:58 AM

    I was the recipient*. He threw away the first stuffed animal I’ve ever owned.

  • December 21, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    That’s pretty random! What was the stuffed animal? LOL. You should send a picture and I’ll stick in on FB with the break up line. Some people are a bit nutty. :) xx

  • December 28, 2013 at 5:07 PM

    I broke up with this guy. nice clean break,

    “I can’t date someone who won’t even hold my hand. I’m not feeling this, you and I. We can still be buds though if you’re down…”

  • January 6, 2014 at 10:18 AM

    said to me by the same guy after about 3 months:

    “I could have taken you to work events, but I didn’t”
    “It had potential, but…..”
    “Maybe it would have worked if we saw each other all the time, but…”
    “I can’t do casual”

  • January 17, 2014 at 11:18 PM

    I don’t leave you because of her. It could have been any other girl. Only the time would have been different.

  • January 17, 2014 at 11:23 PM

    and two more:

    I really can’t wait to spend some time just by myself. (two weeks later this guy was in a new relationship.)

    Our relationship is like a very old car – too many pieces are broken, so it’s not worth it to try to fix them. i’d rather look for a new one. (this guy just watched the pieces breaking down. never had the guts to try fix one of them earlier on…)

  • January 22, 2014 at 1:51 AM

    He says while I hold our infant, “The magic is gone.”

  • February 1, 2014 at 5:41 PM

    After 4 years,I got

    “We got on too well. We didn’t argue enough”

  • February 1, 2014 at 7:51 PM

    And “you didn’t put enough kisses at the end of your texts”, even though I always told him to his face that I loved him.

  • February 2, 2014 at 9:02 AM

    That’s a good one! :) Well you’ll find it that way soon, I suspect! xx

  • February 2, 2014 at 9:04 AM

    In a way I sort of got that one too after 3.5 years…it, to him, indicated “we lacked passion” which to my mind we didn’t. (At all)

    Ho hum.

  • February 2, 2014 at 6:40 PM

    we were so great with each other but my interest has changed the day you changed, and we should love each other separately….

  • February 25, 2014 at 5:24 PM

    I gained 17 pounds eating your dinners, I have no willpower to stop eating all the food you have at your house because you bulk shop at Costco. Its just too stressful there! Also, two nights in a row not good. I can’t seem to keep everyone ‘happy’ in my life. This was all written in texts, after 14 months of dating, never was discussed. This also was an old friend from college, I am 52, he is 57.

  • March 30, 2014 at 7:08 PM

    After 3 years together:

    “I’m polyamorous, and part of me is monogamous, so the poly part of me says you can continue in a relationship with me while I look for my new life partner, on the understanding that as soon as I meet her, you’ll step aside; and the mono part of me says that I need to let you go so I can date my new life partner, whom I haven’t met yet, because I can’t cheat on her with you.”

  • March 30, 2014 at 8:19 PM

    That’s absolutely priceless :) Thanks

  • May 4, 2014 at 3:24 PM

    My dear wife told me on the way home from my mother’s funeral:
    “I’m leaving you. I’m telling you today so you’ll only have one bad day, instead of two”
    What a thoughtful and compassionate woman! Always thinking of me :-)

  • May 4, 2014 at 8:29 PM

    That’s a riot. Sounds similar to my ex who dumped me on a trans-Atlantic phone call – a few days before I was set to come back to the UK. “Well I thought you’d want your dad there.” My dad is fabulous but not exactly blessed with compassion…That was a long long flight back!

  • May 5, 2014 at 2:32 PM

    After we fought and tried and fought and tried he said: “I’m past it cuz I’m done with the cycle that happens. And you being here will only mess up my progress, I need to heal and that includes you not being in my life rn. Not saying we can’t be cool/friends, but I know myself and it took a lot for me to reach at a place where I’m feeling better about the break up. So I agree we need distance. “5

  • May 8, 2014 at 5:36 AM

    “I have no desire to break up with you. I love you. I could DATE you forever. But, I know you want to get married and live here with me. And, I know I want all the great stuff that comes with being with you. I’m just not sure I’m ready to make the sacrifices that come with marriage. Really, I’m doing this for you.”

  • June 19, 2014 at 1:09 AM

    “You don’t love snow camping enough.”

  • June 19, 2014 at 7:29 AM

    Eliza, what a hoot! Will share!

  • June 20, 2014 at 8:39 PM

    Making that into a MEME to share on Social…even though I have NO IDEA what the hell “snow camping” is :)

  • July 9, 2014 at 4:05 PM

    We can be just friends after we split

  • September 3, 2014 at 6:40 PM

    “I’m not good for you or anyone right now. Maybe in a few months when I get my act together, I’ll call and bug you.”

  • September 4, 2014 at 8:06 AM

    Nice one! A real gem. :)

  • September 22, 2014 at 10:46 AM

    “I didn’t see the man in you, which i thought you would be. Sorry for being so blunt, but i guess you shouldn’t call me anymore.”

  • September 28, 2014 at 10:28 AM

    My ex said when we broke up after 8 years (6 of them living together):
    “I’m not sure I’m mature enough to love a woman like you”

    This was in 2012. We split up, I moved out, got my money back. We keep in touch, later he tells me that he just didn’t have any feelings for me in the end. Well, why didn’t you just say that?

    The story was bad though: Later I realized that he never really loved me as I loved him, we’ve had a short break also.
    When we moved in, I heard him say after three weeks: “I’m turned on by every other woman than you” – and then he has sex with me (WTF?!). This incident affected the rest of the 6 years we were together,since I was constantly feeling like I had to “prove myself” to him.
    After the break-up I realized that he had abused me both physically and phycologically. And that I’d let him.
    The guy was clearly fucked up in so many ways I’ve stopped counting. The worst thing was I couldn’t see it until I got out of it and had to deal with the traumas afterwards. Took me 1 year before I could even kiss a guy again.

    Now I’m living with a guy who really loves me for who I am. I have HUGE issues about trust and letting my guard down.
    But with good love, respect and time I’ve opened up a bit to my new boyfriend and I hope this continues in the future… He’s really dear to me <3

  • October 23, 2014 at 12:21 PM

    after 8 years of being together (twice 4 – we had broken up for 10 month in between)
    He told me he loved me, but that he was like a dog and he needed a new toy! Meaning he said he was in love with someone else…

  • November 5, 2014 at 11:47 PM

    I just moved from Britain to Germany to be with her, gave-up my flat and the job etc. 2nd day there she tells me, she has been sleeping with someone else. I said “why did you let me come all this way?” tells me “I thought I should tell you to your face”! … Gee thanks!

  • November 6, 2014 at 12:57 PM

    That’s just incredible! Mine was a bit similar. We’d just sold our flat, bought a house and a month after moving into the dream home – I’m turfed out for a younger model. :( You take care!

  • December 14, 2014 at 7:40 PM

    Dumped on the day of my birthday the day after a romantic trip in venice (dated for 18 months)…….”I need to experience other women”

  • December 15, 2014 at 2:01 PM

    Thanks just incredible! So sorry. Was this recent or a while ago? Hang in there if it was recent. That’s a classic. In time you’ll laugh about it. Crazy as can be! x

  • December 22, 2014 at 5:57 AM

    I man I once dated broke-up with me shortly after he wanted to get back together by saying I was a sexual temptation and distraction to his relationship with God! I later found out he started seeing someone else we both worked with who was very religious. I didn’t have to wonder where he got that phrase from!

  • January 9, 2015 at 12:21 AM

    sorry i dragged this out but if i broke up with you youd hate me

  • February 4, 2015 at 8:24 PM

    After two years: “We are broken. I think you have noticed this too. But I want you to know I’m not taking this lightly. This messing me up.”

    The last part just made me laugh!! This happened last night and I am so weirdly okay, I think we were really were broken.

  • February 4, 2015 at 8:25 PM

    Long may that continue hon :) Keep smiling…all the best!

  • February 17, 2015 at 5:23 AM

    My ex broke up with me at his surprise 50 th bday, I threw for him. So many people from out of town & old friends from HS.
    He got a work call ( he is a cop) while at the party and looked at me and said he needed to leave and go on this call as it would be better company than anyone that was at that party!!! This was after a 13 year relationship where I paid for everything including vacations!

  • February 17, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    So sorry to read your story when I woke up this morning! It’s so incredible that one day I can totally picturing you reeling it off at a party like a humorous anecdote. I don’t make little of your pain it’s awful. It’s the most crazy timing. So crazy though it’s laughable. You’re going to be fine. It’s going to take time. Tell me, what was his reason for ending it? After so long? Then?

  • March 24, 2015 at 7:42 PM

    “This is why im breaking uo with u: because you are a fucking coward”

  • March 28, 2015 at 12:31 PM

    Him to me: BLOCKED
    I guess that’s enough said other then
    ” you killed me, you stupid fucking nasty slut! I love my new girl shea better mom and women then you could ever be”!
    Yea romantic ..

  • April 10, 2015 at 1:14 AM

    “I’ve spoken to my mom and she told me that if I don’t think I can make you happy, then we shouldn’t be together”

    Gee, I’m really glad he felt comfortable enough to talk to his mom about all this but never thought to ask my opinion on the matter.

  • May 2, 2015 at 9:36 PM

    I got the “It’s not you, it’s me.” He said he was really unhappy with his life and he wanted to go back to just dating me. The day after he moved out his new girlfriend unblocked me on Facebook so I could see where he really was on his trips out of town. So he never actually broke up with me. He let her do it for him.

  • May 16, 2015 at 9:47 AM

    All this implies criticism of the dumper.

    So how should it be done? We all make mistakes and get trapped in relationships. Is it possible to dump someone nicely?

  • May 16, 2015 at 10:02 AM

    Criticism? That’s interesting – I don’t see it that way at all, really. It’s generally just meant to be quite light. Must just struck a nerve somewhere in you because of where you’re at…

    Need some advice? Watch this

    Or read this about a Dumper’s POV

    Good luck.

  • May 22, 2015 at 5:25 AM

    I always used to ask you where you wish to see yourself after three or five years from now ? I think the day you answered you want to be a popular photographer travelling different regions exploring the world and living happy,hope i could have understood the red flags you had shown me.Then today i won’t have been dumped so cruelly and instead of making your dreams come true after 5 years i would have helped you in making it in 5 months by leaving you at that moment.Because i was nowhere around in your present nor you had put me in your future too.Thanks ! to the man who had found out this query,this not only works out in job interviews but same in the life interviews too.

  • July 5, 2015 at 1:09 AM

    ‘My ex wife doesn’t want me to date you anymore'(they had broken up 18months before and she had a new bloke)…’but we can still sleep together until I meet someone else’!!


  • August 25, 2015 at 1:36 PM

    Its Over!! Coz I said so !

  • September 11, 2015 at 4:01 AM

    My ex told me when we broke up about the pain I would feel “Oh, it’s like the flu, in a few days you will feel better.”

  • September 13, 2015 at 10:25 PM

    Soon to be ex: “I don’t know what to do anymore! I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Just know that I love you.”

    Me: Complete and utter bullshit.

  • October 30, 2015 at 3:09 PM

    roses are red,
    violets are blue.
    your a drug,
    i dont want you.

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