GUEST: Christine Webber on Valuing Yourself

Every now and again we like to take on guest contributors to the SYBD blog. On this momentous day, the day of the Royal Wedding 2011 and a topic that was actually on my mind as I caught the intermittent footage down south.

While the whole affair was moderately interesting to me, it was all a bit too fairytale-ish  for my liking. That can be, to my mind, slightly dangerous, because very few people’s lives are like fairy tales and though somewhat sweet can also have the adverse affect – as we’re left disappointed that we’re not living that fairy tale life.

 

manicured hands

Pamper Yourself!

So instead of wishing for a prince of my own – I decided to treat myself as a princess today and took myself off for a mani-pedi and then a little  food shopping.

I plan to round off the day by preparing my favourite feast for dinner and then heading to the cinema for some escapism. (I’m thinking a little THOR action…)

Anyway, I’ve decided to truly value myself today.

How about you? How much do you value yourself?

Let’s pass over to Christine on this interesting and somewhat timely subject…I love her tips below and hope you will too!

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Value Yourself – and Make Life Easier

christine webber
Christine Webber

I see a lot of people who are distressed about their relationships. And I also see individuals who have problems at work.

Now, the thing is that we can’t guarantee to change other people to make our lives simpler or pleasanter. But we can change ourselves. And often that makes all the difference in difficult situations.

You see, a lot of problems are made worse because we don’t value ourselves enough. And when we don’t, we tend to hang on in damaging or redundant relationships because we lack the confidence to be single.

A lack of appropriate self-regard also makes life harder in the workplace. I’ve known clients who won’t seek promotion because of lack of confidence, or who become the office doormat because they never have the courage to say ‘no’.

If any of the above sounds like you, here’s a little technique I do with my patients that  should help.

First of all, write a list of 50 things about yourself that you really like. If you don’t value yourself very highly, this might take ages! But stick at it.

When you have done it, rewrite the list on a series of cards. These should be of a size that you can carry around with you. Put five topics on each card. For example:

  • I’m a good friend
  • I am a kind person
  • I’m a great cook
  • I have nice ankles
  • I am reliable

Write 5 more good points on every card, till you’ve got a whole set of 10 cards, which you should carry with you at all times.

Twice a day – every day – shuffle your cards, and then read all the good things that you identified about yourself. And if you’re doing something particularly difficult – like going for a job interview, or a first date – read the cards an extra time, just before you embark on this particular challenge. Gradually, by reading and re-reading 50 great things about you, you will become more confident and will develop more positive regard for yourself.  When that happens, your life should get much easier.

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Great stuff. Wishing you all much self-love out there. To my mind it’s the only kind you can ever fully count on. xox

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Christine Webber is a writer, broadcaster and psychotherapist. Author of female babyboomer guide: ‘Too Young to Get Old‘. You can follow Christine Webber on Twitter too! I do!

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