6 responses

  1. lil
    June 20, 2010

    My answer is YES. In my case today I sent him a birthday e-mail. He dumped me out of the blue and broke my heart brutally; but I still love him and want the best for him.One year since the last time I saw him, he left me for another woman, at the time was unbearable but with time I saw many things I think I did wrong(also I see things he did wrong), but I learnt from the relation and I guess he also learnt. In a way we helped each other. Although the end it is not the one I want, I still love him and thanks him for the great time we spent together.I think life is like that: we have to take enjoy the things while we have them and let them go when is time although is heartbreaking.. So why don´t say Happy birthday!

  2. Kat
    March 12, 2012

    I dumped my ex at the end of 2006. Nearly a year later, he sent me a very sweet happy birthday email, even though we hadn’t been in touch. Although I didn’t respond to it – I truly appreciated the gesture.

    I just got dumped 2 weeks ago now, and am debating whether or not to send a card at the end of the month on his birthday. I think I will. I like acknowledging friends birthdays, and even if he doesn’t appreciate it (which most people do), I will be the bigger person and send it anyways.

    • thea
      March 14, 2012

      Well why not really? I mean is it actually going to make/break anything? Not likely. If it doesn’t, it often doesn’t permanently anyway. I go with my gut and if the person was a genuinely good/kind/respectful person then even if I was hurt by the ending I’d send a card (or text or email – what have you).

      It’s kind of the Golden Rule…We treat others how we wish to be treated. With respect. With kindness.

      So why not? ;) x

  3. Michael
    October 1, 2013

    What if the man you were dumped for is a charmer and twelve years older, you took her for granted but love her. She sais she still had feelings for you and sent you a text on Christmas morning and a birthday card and said unbelievable things like ‘if it does not work out with him I will loose you’. After alomosy a year I am thinking do I send a birthday card to open the door a crack. Because I still want her. I removed her from phone because I sent a few nice texts that upset her and she phoned me to ask me not to. Why phone? And when I removed her from my phone and tole her I would not bother her again, she text back saying i don’t have to do this. Now do I send a card?

    • thea
      October 1, 2013

      That is a tough call M. She asked you not to contact her last – is that correct? So you removed her from your phone? She is with someone else now or do you know? Can you send a card without ANY expectation of a response? Or for her to reply rudely “I asked you not to contact me – can’t you take a hint?”

      She might not of course reply like that. She may be DELIGHTED to hear from you but I’d want you to be “prepared for the worst” – if you see what I mean.

      If you can reach out with well wishes and no expectation then go for it. If you’ll be hurt by a rude response or NO response – I’d leave it.

      Wish her well mentally in any case! If you guys ended on OK terms – and it’s been almost a year – she’d likely be appreciative of you remembering her.

      But it might not lead to reconciliation so ask yourself what is your INTENTION with this card?

      Maybe you could RING and just say “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, that’s it”. Nothing more nothing less (especially if you get voicemail!) :)

      Good luck – let me know what you decide!

  4. Michael
    October 3, 2013

    See said she did not mind me sending a text to say how are you, or stopping to talk to me on the street. She just did not want a txt that upset her. I removed her from my phone because I did not trust myself not to send another nice txt which would upset her. It was left with her last text saying that I did not have to remove her from my phone. If I could tell you how upset she was when she ended it, honestly, you would not believe me. Part of me wants to send a card, because we were good friends first -even though she wanted more- and I seriously care about her, but of course the other side of me wants to take her back for the very best of reasons. If I don’t send a card I know that she will be hurt but if I do, I know that I will not be able to just put regards on it. I will be asking her to think again, which is not what birthday cards are for. She is seeing someone who over ten years older with a salesman’s charm at a difficult age for women -if you understand -. When you care for someone as well as love them, simple decisions like sending a card for not, are not easy. I will let you know my decision.

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