Welcome to SYBD. Most of you are popping through as a result of a break up. You’re in some sort of pain, you need some tips or perhaps to read other people’s stories to feel less alone in what you’re going through. We’ve been here for nearly a dozen years now and have seen just about every type of story you can imagine. The pain-free break up has yet to be seen. Even when it’s mutual, it can be an adjustment to the new state of affairs as it were.
So I put it to you, what can we do to help you? Is there a specific problem that brought you here? Do you want to connect with other people going through this type of painful experience? What would help you most right here, right now? Maybe you’re here to offer something helpful to someone else? Whatever the reason – welcome.
We’ll be re-launching our popular forum in the weeks to come – but on a much, much smaller scale than the last one (so much so I am loathe to call it a forum). That said it will be a place to vent or to read/post stories – that’s it. We’ve just been having some technical issues getting it converted.
Watch this space…
SYBD is the place where even though it feels like “the end” it’s really just the beginning. What you write here will actually help other people, so take a moment, tell your story, and let us know what you came for and how we might be able to help you on soyouvebeendumped.com.
Thanks so much.
My boyfriend left me in February, about eight months ago. It was a serious relationship; we’d been together about two years; and we had planned to get married this year. He left me saying that he “needed to be alone,” and not much else. I was devastated when it first happened and still, all these months later, I remain heartbroken, and utterly destroyed, and seemingly inside a black hole out of which I fear I will never be able to emerge. I have been trying my best to cope but I can’t seem to manage. He is still the person I love most in the world, and it is unbearable to me that he doesn’t want to be with me any more. Despite all the good advice here, and elsewhere, about not staying in contact, I can’t seem to help myself; I send him emails and texts even though I know I shouldn’t, and he sometimes responds (though often he doesn’t) and he always, unfailingly, asks me to get help, to move on with my life, to take care of myself, and he often ends by saying “I can’t help you”. He never initiated contact; it is always me, begging for an email, a phone conversation, a fleeting meeting. I have come to hate the phrase “move on” with a passion because I don’t think it is possible. I have been visiting this site for months, and never commented before. But since this is an open forum asking the question “what do you need to get over it”, I thought I ought to write and ask for help. I don’t know what I need; I doubt seriously that I will ever “get over it”; but I am in despair, and feeling utterfly defeated by life, and I though that it can’t do any harm to write here like this. I know he doesnt want to hear from me anymore; I know it must be torture to him to keep hearing from me, and to keep being reminded of the pain I am in. He thinks I “need help”. I don’t know what that means. But help me, please, kind people on this website, if you can. Thank you.
SM
OMG I get it, I could have written it. I’m so sad I feel like I can’t even function. Help please.
Ok hon, so it’s been eight months and you’re still hurting. I get that. I’ve been there before too. It can take a year or two to really process a loss of this proportion. One step forward then two back. You really would benefit from No Contact though…especially if he’s saying “get help” and wants you to move on. The more you message this guy the more you back up his decision to get “space” from you. You push him further away. You’re not behaving like the kind of woman a guy would want. The moment you DO start acting stronger, bucking up, dusting yourself off and moving on – then you’re the kind of gal any guy would take notice of for all the right reasons.
Imagine for a moment you left him and eight months down the road he kept messaging you from that “defeated” sort of place of mind. You’d move on and he hadn’t. You’d probably have sympathy but you also might be a little frustrated.
Your mistake in life, like so many is to think your happiness lies anywhere else outside of you. He can’t make you happy. He can’t complete you. This isn’t Jerry Maguire. You know? This recovery is 100% down to you. It’s about the baby steps you take each day to start to move on.
You go a day without contacting him.
You call on friends.
You work hard at school or your job or whatever.
You focus on being healthy – eating right – exercising.
You think about some goals you can set yourself – places you might like to visit (been working on my own Bucketlist tonight myself).
You have a mental shift from being “defeated by life” to welcoming the opportunity for growth, awareness, empathy and understanding.
You look for the positives in this situation – as there are always positives.
You need to remove completely inaccurate phrases like “I doubt I will ever get over it” – and change it to phrases like “every day I am feeling better, stronger and more whole”.
You read books that enrich the soul, expand the mind, and help you understand love and life. We have some book recommendations on the main site under support. Coming Apart by Dahpne Rose Kingma is a good one!
You write in a journal – how you’re feeling and try to end each entry with something positive that happened each day. As time goes on make yourself list five or ten.
Moving on is essentially a choice. It’s all down to you. Stay stuck in your thinking, slap on the victim suit and be hurt, sad, angry, guilt ridden or whatever – or slip off that suit and embrace the survivor one.
I often used to say in times like this “I don’t expect you to BE over it by now but I do expect you to WANT to get over it.”
Moving on takes effort – it doesn’t just happen. It’s not a case of time healing all wounds – it doesn’t. We all know people who are five months, five years or fifteen who never quite got over it. Do you want to be one of those people? I sure don’t.
If you need to come back and post here – whatever you want to say to HIM but do not, please, do not contact him anymore. At least for a few months until you no longer feel it as a compulsion to do so!
You’ll get better. You will, but only if you want to. *hugs* Thea x
Maybe I can connect you two – to chat. You might be able to help each other? If you’re ok with that – let me know and I’ll write you both and you can be break up buddies! Thanks for your comment.
7 months since the ex moved away…I am really wanting (not needing) a new connection/spark.
I have been out on dates with 5 diff guys (who were all nice) but none of them give me that happy excited butterflies in the stomach feeling…
nor do they put much effort in – my ex chased me so much and really shown that he wanted me – i want that again (is that silly)
I don’t want my ex back but I miss having a special guy in my life…
so my ex i was still seeing but moved 40 mins away has just told me its not working we never see each oter now and we should both move on i was with him on/off 4 years feel quite lost and not interested in moving on he was like a best friend
Well if he just told you of course you’re not interested in “moving on”. Give yourself a break. If it had happened two years ago – and you still weren’t interested in getting past it, I’d shrug and do nothing because someone who gets far down the road and refuses to do the work it takes to move on is not my problem. I can’t fix anyone – only guide people who request it.
So it’s early days for you. Your ex too. Sometimes with an on/off thing that goes for so long, we can be forgiven for thinking in the back of our head “oh this is just another one of those, we’ll get back together” blah blah blah. I totally have been there. The ones that are on/off like that so long – it often takes one of the people to move on to a new relationship before it kills it off finally.
lf he says it’s it’s not working then believe him because on some level for him it isn’t. Avoid your herculean attempts to convince him it IS working. Call on your other “best friend/s” for support. He’ll be in a new area with new people, new places etc that he can be amusing himself with. You’re stuck in the place you were. The novelty for him will die down as a guess and he may very well start to miss you.
Use this as a time to work on you. Did he say anything more specific than it wasn’t working? Deep down you may have some stuff about yourself that you KNOW needs improved upon (we all have them). Use this break for that. If it doesn’t help you with him it will help you with the next one, whenever you’re ready to move on. Take a good long period out and take a voyage of SELF discovery. We all need to do that at times. I did that after MY on/off thing ended – took a year out to heal, process, grow and learn and was so grateful for a drama free year (my relationship had a lot of drama attached). You take care, just take it ONE DAY at a time. One HOUR at a time ok? Hang in there x
thanks thats brill advice im definitely going to concentrate on me 4 a wile, i just hope il be ok
I was with my ex for 4 years, did everything together with him and was planning a wedding when he left me for a married woman. It’s been 6 months, but it’s been hard mainly because I’m 33 single with no children and my friends are married with multiple children. I feel like the 5th wheel now and can’t share in the ” couple ” activities anymore. I also work nightshift at a hospital, so when I’m up ppl are asleep and vice versa, it makes it hard to develop a social life. I need to get back on my feet, but don’t feel supported and I feel alone and alienated
Where do I start?
Well, we had been together since April, (but we met 3 years before in my old job, we dated for a bit but I had just split with my ex whom I really loved so we didnt proceed) she had just been dumped and was upset. I was happy to be her friend and we had fun. We then fell for one another as there was always an attraction between us. Things were great but then she became a bit too needy. Getting emotional and upset for no reason. I distanced myself a bit and and we then had a holiday booked which we were both looking forward to. The holiday was the best of our lives, we had such a great time, fun laughs sex. I realised how strongly I felt about her. I told her this and she said she had been on a date with someone else a lot older (I’m 29, shes 25). I asked for a chance and when she said no, I accepted it and continued with the holiday. It seemed like when I wasnt telling her how I felt, she wanted me more! So, we came back, she said not to rush her. I didnt. We were with each other constantly, having good fun and sex, and talking about our plans for the future. She would call me regularly during the day, and we would plan the evening. i was always complimented on how I was with her, she loved it. Said she would be lost without me.
Until one evening, she had a night in. No worries with that. We were meant to spend weekend together but to be fair she wasnt well. So she didnt want to come with me (I had to go). A family member had had a new baby and she was talking about how much fun it would be for us to be involved etc. I got minimal contact over weekend, was really offish. Baby was born, and I got a generic text. We go and meet th ebaby on the Monday and on the way home she tells me I am “more like a brother” and she wasnt happy. She also tells me she is about to make the biggest mistake of her life. I was devastated. Told her how I felt. She kept apologising etc.
So, I then went NC. Her decision, no point in me pleading. 3 days later she is “in a relationship” on facebook. I was devastated and angry, but kept my dignity and said nothing.
I cannot see how it can change in 3 days, and I have no evidence that she is in a relationship or not, but I cannot understand why she would want to hurt me like that?! Is it for a reaction or what?
I since removed myself from facebook.
Its been 10 days, she text today to ask for something back. Thats it. I am shocked. But I now am being a man and getting on with my life. Very very tough though. Cannot get my head round it.
Well I know just how you feel. I was 31 when the so-called love of my life went away with a work colleague (and got engaged 3 months later and married her 8 mos after that). It sucks. There are no two ways about it. But there are a lot of blessings here. It happened BEFORE you got married to this one and had kids with him!
The friends with families type thing is another thing I really relate to. You can really feel alienated and alone without the significant other and the kids…but honestly, I GUARANTEE some of your married friends or mothers or whatever – are JEALOUS of your freedom at times. I know that doesn’t make you feel much better but it’s true. There is a lot of good that comes from the single life and instead of treating it like a STOP GAP between relationships – treat it like a wonderful opportunity because the chances really are that YOU WILL end up in a relationship and end up missing this solo time. Well that’s what I tell myself anyway
Find a site like MEETUP.COM – and join some groups – knitting, card making, wine tasting, hill walking, movie viewing, whatever it is you are interested in…Make some new SINGLE friends so you feel less like an oddball.
I am taking part in National Novel Writing Month (nanowrimo.org) this month (it started 3 nights ago and I started 2.5 hours ago!) where you write 50,000 words in the month of November. Not easy when you work, but achievable. Why not consider doing it or just some writing about how you’re feeling. It’s quite cathartic.
I am writing on the very themes you spoke of for my own clarity on the subject matter rather than to be read by anyone else. You hang in there x
Thank u Thea, it’s nice to know someone out there can relate. I have been looking into finding meetup groups, so far it’s all been singles meeting singles, and I am not quite ready to start dating again, but I may give it a try. I will consider writing though. It helped me just to state my problem here.
SYBD was an enormous help to me in its early days. I was dumped, and HARD, about ten years ago. I was devastated. SYBD made me realize that I’m not alone, and the “no contact” rule helped immensely. As simple as it is, it’s something I never would have initiated on my own. Now I’m married and my ex is too. I’m happy for him. We actually became friends on FB this year. Granted, it took a damn decade, but… there was healing. It did happen.
I never forgot Thea’s kindness and understanding. From time to time I recommended this site to those I met who were hurting.
Now I’m back myself because while I love my husband, I have developed an infatuation for another man. My feelings are not returned and what’s left of the decent person I once thought I was is grateful for that. I need to get this other man out of my system, and the pain is intense: the tearing pangs of unrequited love, the unrelenting torture of the infatuation, the horror at my own self for having developed these feelings. I was hoping that some of the techniques which helped me while getting over my ex might help with this new challenge.
So for those of us in this unusual situation… or those simply suffering from unrequited love… perhaps SYBD could have a niche for us as well.
Thank you again Thea for everything.
Dear Thea (and everyone else who contributes to this site)
Thank you for your kind words, for listening, for understanding, and for your good advice. I read what you wrote above very carefully and am trying very hard to follow all the very wise and practical suggestions you make. It is hard. I’ve not contacted him since you wrote (on the 20th Oct) and it is so painful to realise that he will never contact me of his own volition. But yes, I must try to stop feeling like a victim, and no, I don’t want to feel this way for much longer; I don’t think I could bear it. It is inspiring that you’ve undertaken the writing challenge. I wish I could. I’m supposed to be working on my Phd dissertation, and I was meant to have written three chapters this term. I suppose I should try my best to get down to work, and, following your example, try to write about 2,000 words a day. I am a full time student so I don’t even have the excuse of having other work to do. But it is hard; I find it difficult to concentrate; I find it difficult to do almost anything. But I will do my best. Meanwhile, thank you, sincerely, for putting out into the world so much of yourself, and so much compassion. You sent me hugs without even knowing me; that, alone, was enough to get me through that night.
SM
My ex left me 3 months ago. We had been together for a year, during which time she was often quite distant and emotionally unavailable; though whenever I brought this up, she would tell me that she did genuinely care for me, and that she had always been quite guarded with her emotions. And because I loved her, I was willing to ride that out, though it did cause me a great deal of pain on occasion. I also waited a year for sex, as she was a virgin and wanted to wait until she felt comfortable enough to have a sexual relationship.
About 2 weeks before our relationship ended, she told me she wanted to have sex. So we planned things in advance, and slept with each other after a night out (she had said she wanted to be drunk for it). Everything seemed fine. 2 weeks later, after a week of not contacting me at all, she dumped me, saying she couldn’t be bothered with the hassle any more and didn’t want to make the effort. This was on the day of the first anniversary of my friend’s death. I asked her if we could save things, and she replied that she needed some time to think. After leaving me hanging for a further 2 weeks she declared that we should just go our separate ways. I haven’t heard anything from her since.
This has completely devastated me and I don’t know how to get over it. I still love her, though I’m angry that I was considerate and waited so long and was dumped in that manner, and I’m confused as to why she has completely cut contact with me. I feel used in a way. I have no idea how to move on from this and I’ve become almost obsessed with thinking about it, to the point where it’s interfering with my normal life.
Well unfortunately RA, hon, that’s a serious whammy. Are you saying you literally had sex ONE time and she bailed? After a year of waiting? It’s no wonder you’re mind-fecking about this. To wait so long and have it end immediately afterwards it’s a toe-punt to the groin. There is no doubt about it. I wish I had just the right thing to say to you make you feel “ok” about this but there is nothing anyone can really say or do in a sitch like this. You’re gonna have to work through it. The trick will be to not over analyse it all. To not make it about YOU because that sounds to me like it’s probably not about YOU even if she may think it is about you now. Having sex is a big thing and it could have really and truly freaked her out for some reason. Some deep seated thing…I have no idea but I know how HUMAN it is to make it about ourselves – blame ourselves for not measuring up in some way – when in many cases it’s not about us.
So if I were you I’d 1) work out a way to not make it about ME (or my performance) and 2) I’d work through that anger and hurt, and forgive her for lacking the emotional maturity to handle all this 3) I’d find a way to be grateful that a) I had sex and b) I found out she was so fickle and flighty early on without investing any more time in a situation with someone who wasn’t on the same page about it all as me!
Of course it stings like a bee-atch and of course it’s disrupting normal life – welcome to So You’ve Been Dumped. That kind of doozy is going to take time to normalise for you. There is no quick fix.
But the good news is that 1) you WILL get over this, I promise 2) you will be happy again 3) you will have awesome sex again!
If there is any REMOTE chance of it having been a less good performance in the bedroom, be honest with yourself, and do some studying up on that subject matter
Not saying it is down to that but hell we all have room for improvement.
Now is maybe the time you can assess yourself, ask your close friends to give you some real feedback on areas you can work on and make yourself an even more fabulous guy. Be the kind of guy that any gal would be lucky to be with.
This is not the end of the world, it’s the start of something else – even better.
You hang in there. I’ve 12 years of experience in this department and honestly if you want to get over it, to be happy, to love again – you will do it’s as simple as that. YOU WILL.
Hugs x
Hey thea, thanks so much for your reply and advice. Yeah, it was just one time. Haha, the thought had crossed my mind about it being a performance thing of course…but I’ve never had problems with that in the past. We were both drunk though and from what I remember (sucks that something so special should be hazy, I hate drunk sex) I was just trying to be as gentle and loving as I could. I don’t know though, because she won’t talk to me and hasn’t since the breakup. All she said was that she didn’t want to make the effort any more. But surely if someone has been with you for a year, one sexual mess-up shouldn’t be too big a deal?
I’ll try your advice about making it not about me. It’s really knocked me for six and shaken my confidence in myself both sexually and as a person – I’ve no idea how to start getting over that, but I have to somehow. I’m also the main carer for my mother who is ill at the moment so I haven’t had the emotional resources to process things properly. Hopefully I can make a start on that now.
Thanks again, it really is much appreciated
x
My ex and I have been together for just over four years. I have always wanted commitment and marriage, house kids etc and this was something he wasnt really interested in. However, as we were quite young when we met (me 23 and him 25) I thought there was plenty of time for all that and decided I could wait.
During our time together he would consistantly let me down. Little things like not calling when he said he would, or cancelling our cozy nights in together because one of his friend’s gave him a better offer. I tried to justify this to myself, telling myself it was normal for a guy to want to spend time with his friends (even though he would let me down to do so). I began to dread my family events in case there was a football match/night out that would clash and I would have to attend my event on my own. To try and resolve this I began making plans with him months in advance so that he couldnt ‘get out’ of doing things with me. Sounds quite sad now, but I loved him.
Anyway, two years ago he agreed that it was time to move in together. I was delighted and spent all my time trying to make our little rented flat as nice as possible (he didnt believe in buying – too restrictive) and hoped he would finally settle down. It didn’t quite work out like that… He would still have his nights out, however he wouldnt come home. He would stay in his friend’s house and turn his phone off the following day, leaving me upset and worried, and doing pathetic things like driving round to find him. Again, I began to dread the weekends. Eventually in February this year, we decided that we wanted different things and went our separate ways. It was very traumatic moving back in with my parents and putting all of our lovely furniture in storage, but I got through it with the help of my friends and lovely family.
Now… the big mistake I did make was keeping almost daily contact with my ex. I just didnt feel ready to never speak to him again, I think I was kidding myself. It was as if we hadnt broken up because we were still talking every day even though we weren’t physically together. However I managed to go on a few dates and began to feel somewhere near normal again.
In June I got a phonecall off my ex.. telling me he’d made the biggest mistake of his life breaking up with me. He realised he wanted to grow up, buy a house, get married and have a family after all, and he wanted us to get back together! After weeks of begging, letters, flowers to work and conversations with my parents, he finally convinced me to give it another go.
At first things were great. I was so happy and thought ‘This is It’. He really tried and I felt that I had some power in the relationship. However unfortunately in August his Mother died, and things began to go wrong. I moved into his house (that he had shared with his Mum) and set about trying to make his pain ease and help him everyway I could. But then things started to slip back to the way they were before. He didnt go on the missing list this time, but started to snap at me and make me feel bad. I felt like an old married woman running around after him and nothing I did was good enough.
On Friday we had a big fight and he told me he didnt love me in the same way anymore. He said he was sorry that things didnt work out, but he didnt see how things could change and get better. So yet again, I have spent the weekend moving all of my clothes etc back to my parent’s house, while he spent the weekend getting drunk with his friends. I havent slept all weekend, and can’t eat properly. I’m lucky that my friends and family are all rallying around (again) but I feel so embarrassed and humiliated it’s unreal.
I know this break up is for the best, after reading all of this you probably think that I’ve been an idiot, and I have. But I loved him and wanted everything he said to be true. I don’t think he’s done it purposely, but he has managed to break my heart twice in the space of 10 months.
Although this is probably the longest post EVER, its really helped getting it all out. And it has also helped reading other people’s stories, knowing I’m not alone is nice.
Thanks for such a lovely website, it’s really helped.
Thanks.
JM xx
Hi J
First of all it is NOWHERE near the longest post nor do I (or anyone reading this) think you were an idiot for giving it another go. It’s a total blessing you did. It really is. You may have wonder WHAT IF if you didn’t. So I would slap that word “humiliated” right out of your mind and vocab. He has not humiliated you – no one has.
You carried hope and thought things were different – and for a while they were so you were RIGHT! It’s wonderful you have family and friends around to support you at this trying time. That is another blessing.
The guy sounds fine. No he has not done it purposely. He, I am sure, is a nice guy underneath all the immaturity. He is going through something that is really challenging (I’ve been there)…So we need to cut him a BIT of slack on that one.
As painful as it was (is) going through this – I really do think it’s better you found out now rather than marrying, having kids, and then BAM the whole “I don’t feel the same” type spiel you know? So why now is too raw to really contemplate any of that stuff I am saying, please trust me on this.
You will bounce back from this. You will be happy again. You will love again. (If you want to on all the above).
Thanks for sharing the story here. There will be a new mini-forum for “stories” here soon. I can’t wait.
That is wonderful news. Long may this happiness continue.
I do hope you can sustain it!
You’re more than welcome. Am here for you any time!
Wow, it’s been a while SYBD (about a dozen years to be precise) but here you still are in all of your witty and wise glory… and here i am… broken hearted again. Yeah, no smug married tale of inspiration from me of how “i once was broken hearted but look, i’m married and happy now” – nope, i’ve been broken hearted a few times in the last decade or so since i first came here. And the new one just makes it feel like my very last chance just said “It’s not you it’s me” (ah yeah, those standard lines are still doing the rounds… i mean, come on guys, get more inventive for crying out loud!)
But it’s good to come get a refresher – i’ve already initiated NC – deleted my Facebook page (ooo, look that’s new since my last visit here!) and told him that i have to “leave the room as far as you’re concerned” (because he did panic at the sudden NC, sending my messages saying he wanted to explain…). Ah yes, it’s all coming back to me now…
I’ve had my mixtape of breakup songs on play, my tissues and bottle of red wine at my bedside and my girlfriends on speed-dial. But reading through SYBD has been one of the biggest comforts. God bless y’all – now pass the Shiraz – Dazel x
Hi Thea. Thank you so much for such a lovely, thoughtful response. Really cheered me up at this tough time. Is there anyone you could set me up as abreak up buddy with? Would be nice to have someone to talk to who is feeling the same. Thanks.
Hey jade just checking to see how you’re doing? Will work on setting you up with a BuB as soon as possible. Hopefully putting our new forum with a BuB section on it
Take care x
Hey there – welcome back. That said, sorry you’ve had to pop back. We’re undergoing some changes here, and so I’ve been too tied up to sit and reply to you properly. Sorry for the “it’s not you it’s me” malarkey. I hope the music, wine and NC helps to make it a smoother transition. It’s a challenging time to be coping with a loss like this (I went through it myself not too long ago, over the holidays etc). But the thing is as your post proves we are resilient by nature. You’ve been through it before. We know we get through – it’s just not fun as we do! You’ve not lost your “very last chance” I’m quite sure – but boy-oh-boy I sure can appreciate it feels like it sometimes! Right there with you sista. Anyway keep popping back and updating me a bit. Hopefully get the new mini-forum back on here and maybe you can chat to other people going through it too. Take care toots and again sorry for the delay.
I just can’t help but wonder. Why is it always US, women that get the short end of the stick when it comes to break-ups and heart break? Why does it seem like we suffer so much more than men do? I know this is so out of the blue, but I just couldn’t help but notice the unfairness of it all. Why do break ups seem so much easier for men than women? Are men just so heartless that they won’t even shed a tear, and forget and get over us by the next day or week at the latest? Sigh, its just so unfair how our feminine genetic make up makes us CARE more than they do. It’s just not fair.
Alyssa – I’ve run this site for nearly twelve years so believe me when I say that it’s not just WOMEN that get hurt. Some women are hard as stone, don’t shed a tear and move on from their sobbing ex boyfriends / ex husbands.
I like to say “It’s not a GENDER thing it’s a PEOPLE thing.”
I’ve seen plenty of gutted men in my time here to know that it’s not at all true that they don’t hurt.
Some men, you’re right, move on to the next one, and the next one, and the next one – without giving a backwards glance. Some SEEM like it’s so easy for them, you’re also right. Also some people just “fake it” better than others. Some people don’t seem to care, the seem “heartless” but frankly only sociopaths really ARE heartless.
As for “fair” who said life should be “fair”? It isn’t fair unfortunately. Not much is “fair” in this world. It’s a matter of perspective anyway. If life was fair – we’d all get who we love, have the money to do whatever job we want, live in the house we love, and no one would ever leave or die.
So you hang in there. the very thing that makes us hurt so much is also what makes us HELP so much. The trick is to not let anyone change us to make us hardened or less caring!
The guys DO care – even if it seems they don’t. They don’t forget us even when it seems like they have. So don’t make too many assumptions about what any guy does and doesn’t feel. You can’t always TELL what’s going on in their head and hearts just by the way act or indeed speak.
You take care. Assume your ex(es) did care and that you did mean something even if it’s readily apparent. x
Hello Thea, thanks for the message.
Im doing surprisingly well! Have stuck to the no contact thing and it’s really helping. Been keeping myself nice and busy, and tried to do productive things with my time, so I’m getting there. I’m determined to have a lovely Christmas and New Year too!
That’s great, I will wait to hear from you about the buddy. Hope you’re really well.
xxx