Sharp Exit
Many years ago, half a dozen or so, there was a fantastic thread on our forum started by a Oregonian man we’ll call JM. He readily admitted his long-lasting bitterness, but for a spell, he had a great idea to channel it into a humourous thread.
His idea was to take random “break up lines” that we all know and loathe, and write what they really mean.
After JM began posting his, others chimed in with theirs.
For a bit of Friday fun – here are a few of the highlights of that thread for your amusement!
Feel free to add some of yours below in the comments field too.
Enjoy!
JM: OK. Let’s have a little fun with this. Some of these have been used on me!
“We just grew apart.”
Translation: We just grew apart, because I needed to go f–k someone else.
“I need to move on with my life.”
Translation: I need to move on with f–king someone else.
“Don’t worry, we?re just friends.”
Translation: Don?t worry, we?re just friends with benefits.
“I need some time to think.”
Translation: I need some time to think about who I want to go out and f–k.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Translation: It’s not you, it’s me who needs to go f–k someone else.
“It’s nobody’s fault.”
Translation: It’s nobody’s fault. I just need to go f–k someone else.
“You’re a great guy, but…?”
Translation: You’re a great guy, but I’m f–king someone else now.
“Before I can be OK with us, I’ve got to be OK with me.”
Translation: Before I can be OK with us, I’ve got to be OK with my need to go f–k someone else.
“I’ve just been trying to stay busy.”
Translation: I’ve just been trying to stay busy getting busy with my new boyfriend.
“I’m not making any promises.”
Translation: I owe you nothing. Now I can go f–k whoever I want.
“I’ve been out doing Christmas Things.”
Translation: I’ve been at my boyfriends house f–king under the tree.
“If I ever start dating again, I’ll let you know.”
When you get a wedding invitation.
HighwayGirl
Translation “I didn’t have enough time to sleep around and see what else is out there….”
“I need to take some time out for Me.”
Translation:…..I need to play the field…
“You deserve better than me.”
Translation: ….I’m not enjoying this anymore, and I don’t want your friends to know what an a$$ I am…
“I need to focus on this new job.”
Translation: ….I need to focus on meeting new women while I am on the road with this new job…
“You are my definition of the perfect woman.”
Translation:….for someone else….
Translation:…I just need to have it with more people….
While the thread turned into a brilliantly funny act between these two – eventually a few other people chimed in with theirs.
Azureus had a few chestnuts for the mix…
“You are not dependable.”
Translation:…where’s that fxxking ring, my mom’s asking!
“I didn’t know how to handle you.”
Translation:…because I dated boys some even younger than me.
or
Translation:…I have never dated a man before.
“This relationship was not functional.”
Translation:…because I cannot control you
“You are passive-aggressive.”
Translation:…because you answer me when I am ALWAYS right.
“I cannot focus on my life.”
Translation:…because I’ve been telling you I am in love for the first time and all I can think is you.
“I am moving on and so should you.”
Translation:…but if I ever see you with a blonde, I’ll be devastated.
Jodie99
Translation: I love to f*&^ you, but I wouldn’t want to have you as a girlfriend.
The Truth hurts, but only from laughing till I got a stitch from the sich of bein’ ditched! Love it